Move on

Forgiving someone for something and forgetting it happened are different things. The things two people do to each other they DO remember... we DON'T forget. Though there's a difference between 

• how we carry what's left over from being hurt, and
• how we continue to treat the person who wronged us

Forgiveness, forgiving, implies we are ALL fallible; we make mistakes AS OFTEN AS NOT. How we choose to love each other, regardless, shows to what degree we are forgiving. We can hardly forget hard things, hardly set aside such... but we can choose to not use these against each other.

That's difficult.

We tend to knee-jerk reactions and/or/then longish grudges, meaning we're not great at naturally forgiving, then... forgetting. I said earlier we can hardly forget hard things, set them aside. The ability to MOVE ON has to be practiced. There's virtually a betraying of ourselves practicing letting go of memories and hard feelings if we're apt to hold on. Our natural selves and our best selves battle.

Clinicians say though if we can change our perspective on a thing we can change pretty much anything else as well – how we feel about any situation and how that may continue to affect us and our relationships. Changing our perspective enough times – practicing, doing it over and over – the struggle lessens. Forgiveness is a reaction, and carrying what's hard-to-be-forgotten, or NOT, a choice. We may not think it's true but we're capable of choosing our reaction to the things that happen to us.

Prophets declare “Of you it is required to forgive. For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if you forgive not men there trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14–15). They say “...let us bind up the wounds — oh, the many wounds that have been caused by cutting words, by stubbornly cultivated grievances, by scheming plans to 'get even' with those who may have wronged us. We all have a little of this spirit of revenge in us. Fortunately we all have the power to rise above it if we will 'clothe [ourselves] with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace'” (D&C 88:125).
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Not long ago I listened at length to a couple who sat across the desk from me. There was bitterness between them. I know that at one time their love was deep and true. But each had developed a habit of speaking of the faults of the other. Unwilling to forgive the kind of mistakes we all make, and unwilling to forget them and live above them with forbearance, they had carped at one another until the love they once knew had been smothered. It had turned to ashes...

Is there a virtue more in need of application in our time than the virtue of forgiving and forgetting? ~President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Of You It Is Required to Forgive.”

Making General Conference a priority

It is not surprising that in the face of tremendous evil and temptation the Lord does not leave us to find our way on our own. In fact, there is more than enough guidance available to each of us if we will listen. You have received the gift of the Holy Ghost to direct and inspire you. You have the scriptures, parents, Church leaders and teachers. You also have the words of the prophets, seers, and revelators who live in our day. There is so much guidance and direction available that you won’t make major mistakes in your life unless you consciously ignore the guidance you receive. ~The Blessings of General Conference, Paul V. Johnson of the First Quorum of the Seventy

"If we teach by the Spirit and you listen by the Spirit, some one of us will touch on your circumstance, sending a personal prophetic epistle just to you.” —Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"An Ensign to the Nations."

"I promise that if you will listen, you will feel the Spirit well up within you. The Lord will tell you what He wants you to do with your life. In conferences we can receive the word of the Lord meant just for us." —Elder Robert D. Hales

"General Conference: Strengthening Faith and Testimony."

"Decide now to make general conference a priority in your life. Decide to listen carefully and follow the teachings that are given." ~Elder Johnson

Conference listener

General Conference is coming! Not yesterday but last Sunday when we were with the kids in their Sacrament Meeting I took notes from the two speakers who talked about this. Here's exactly what I wrote:

Questions I need answered.

Challenging situations I need help with.

This man wrote down five questions for Conference...

How can I be happy when so many things go wrong?

Questions are answered in Conference. We can take our problems and questions to the Lord... be a Conference "listener."



How can I be saved and STAY saved? Ezekiel: Watchmen on the tower (apostles and general officers).

Ask grandchildren to write down impressions they have during conference... we talk about them together after Conference...

We can be taught at any age. Eyring quote: "Come with our problems, be ready to learn, lift God's children."

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We choose every day who we are by what we do.



Be hearers and doers of Christ's words.
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Communicate to our children and grandchildren the power of the gospel.

General Conference is coming! I'm looking forward to it.

Well known story

The Woman at the Well – Sieger Köder

Like with all of us, the woman of Samaria cannot "hide" from Jesus of Nazareth. She encounters Him at the well and realizes ALL she hopes to keep secret is known of Him. He knows her better than she knows herself. It's so with all of us. Christ offers us "living water," the invitation to come to Him and be refreshed and redeemed. When we experiment on his invitation and truly, steadily, observe ourselves reflected in His kindly invitation we see we are never alone and are transparent to Him who perfectly loves us.

Keep going

The Lord’s way is not hard. Life is hard, not the gospel. “There is an opposition in all things,” everywhere, for everyone. Life is hard for all of us, but life is also simple. We have only two choices. We can either follow the Lord and be endowed with His power and have peace, light, strength, knowledge, confidence, love, and joy, or we can go some other way, any other way, whatever other way, and go it alone—without His support, without His power, without guidance, in darkness, turmoil, doubt, grief, and despair. And I ask, which way is easier?

Life is hard, but life is simple. Get on the path and never, ever give up. You never give up. You just keep on going. You don’t quit, and you will make it.
The Way, Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge of the First Quorum of the Seventy

Quest of a lifetime

8 ¶For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. (Isaiah 55)

These verses came up in Sunday School class recently where the teacher showed us how loooonnnnggg the ppprrrooocccceeeesssss may be where the Lord "works with us" to prosper us. His word going forth from his mouth shall not return unto Him VOID but shall accomplish what He pleases (with us); it shall prosper the thing (us) whereto He sends it.

If He knows us individually (He does); if He loves us perfectly and unconditionally (He does); if His work and glory is to bring to pass our immortality and eternal life (it is), then no matter that His thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are our ways His, the fashioning of us and perfecting of us after the manner of Man He is will/must go forward. And at the pace (for each of us individually) He knows we need. As rain comes down, and snow, and doesn't evaporate but follows a cycle of watering the earth and nourishing plants so they give fruit and bread and do replenish themselves with seed... as that is a loooonnnnggg process, so is the nurture God maintains with us His children.

It does not fail. Thus, for you and me ↓



And longer.

Sitting around

Work will win when wishy-washy wishing wont.  Thomas S. Monson

You know today I kind of sat around a lot. Not a good thing to admit with a quote like this hovering above this post. With good reason: today I have a nasty sciatic nerve flare. I couldn't go to my YW activity last night because of it. I barely made it to dad's with groceries late in the day yesterday. I did that, then came home and before bedtime sat in my chair.

I sat in my chair the whole day today, pampering. Staying off my leg and hip. Saying no to a dozen things: cooking breakfast; going to town with Kent; of course walking early this morning with Marcia, no. Vacuuming the downstairs and stairs themselves, often Thursday's work. It'll wait. No. No to going to Amy's like I was supposed to. No baking cookies or coconut custard pie like I thought... no cleaning the closet under the stairs, no taking a shower, no hovering over the washer and drier or dishwasher with loads.

I read my book.

I watched Kent come and go.

I talked on the phone.

I watched television.

I played games on my iPad and read a conference talk there too.

I read recipes.

I texted.

I sat around a lot.

Long day

Early morning ride around Bountiful Pond....



with Marcia.



And by the way, lunch today with my sisters and sister-in-law, cute Julie! Good, good lunch at Plates and Palettes in Bountiful, oh my. Salad and a veggie panini and good conversation with the girls. (Let's do this again!) After, I hightailed it to Farmington Station to stop into three stores: two to exchange clothes I bought in Parker (which I didn't here, it didn't work out) and one to buy something new (which I did). Then to Smith's for groceries for dad. I chatted with dad by phone on the way there realizing it was later on the clock than I realized... to find he'd be at dinner by the time I could shop and commence to the assisted living center to get groceries in to him. He'd be sitting at the dining room table unable to let me into his room, and me without a key, if I trooped over there in a little while. Oh. Brother.

Still we made arrangements for me to come after dinner. I agreed that'd work since Kent was going home teaching at 6:00 and this would give me time to make dinner and eat with him and see him off. 'T'would get me into dad's with groceries and then to my YW activity by 7:00. All. Good.

I did all that. I did ALL that but the YW activity. By close to 7:00 I was hobbling to the car from dad's room, my sciatic nerve flaring, blooming, blossoming into sit-me-down-right-now pain. Home I drove, the sun as bright in my eyes (as it headed down over the west mountain, down at the end of this long day) as it surely was coming up on my early morning ride around Bountiful Pond.

Trusses

Yup.


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Busy, busy day. Walked early with Marcia on Davis Boulevard, a good hour. I've indulged too much this past week – the brisk walk was kind'a tough! Sent a "Happy Birthday" text to Emily (Marcia's daughter). Got Kent a hot breakfast, read scriptures, prayed, kissed him goodbye as he's working in the temple. He's the veil coordinator in a 9-month assignment and while he missed being at the temple last Tuesday (was getting his tooth extracted, in fact), he's happy to be back today. He hates to miss.

After he left I did housework and laundry, recovering from being gone... I had my visiting teachers over at 11:00, then I dressed up and went to the temple to the 12:45 session which was over at 2:45. I saw Kent there (of course; I waited for him!), surprised him and gave him a kiss. He can now say he's kissed a patron in the temple! No lie! I ran errands in town after, then drove home to fix dinner. Sweet potatoes and a tossed salad for Kent for when he got home. I had my sweet potato for lunch... we're both tired tonight.

More of our view is gone

Home.

Drove nine hours and got here after five o'clock. The builders across the street are working late – I guess they rent the crane by the day.

No roof trusses yet for the new home directly across from us. There was just a cement pad there when we left a week ago. We've avoided the constant banging getting the framing up on both houses. Good.

Tomorrow... for trusses, maybe?

Family time and last night here

Today we stepped out for a walk. A walk up a mountain. Actually... a hike. To see the fall colors. We drove an hour from home to this place Mike found on the Internet advertising such: September 20... the start of fall colors.

The path from the parking lot in just a few steps brought us to a creek where instead of passing over on the bridge (where I stood to take this pic) the kids descended to the water to huck rocks.



I crossed over then and grabbed pics...



... and for a while stayed ahead...



... then, behind.



The more intrepid of us clambered atop boulders strewing the way – usually the two little boys, but today even the big kids.



Aww...





So much walking hiking in the sun previously, I admit to getting too sweaty hot... besides, I carried Sarah a long way piggy-back. Then we looped around this hillock and for twenty blessed minutes went in the shade of the mountain range (behind us). The sun even went down on us back there leaving us in twilight and I was so cool I became afraid... then we emerged into sunshine. Actually, relief: We were depending on Mike's knowledge of the loop (his iPhone) to get us back to the car and I'd suspected at one point we'd be spending the night, gulp, hiking out.



See?



But no, we got to the bridge again as we spied the moon and the bridge leads over the creek which is a hop and a skip (if you don't take time to get down to the water again to throw rocks) from the car.



And night came on as we drove the hour home. Our last night here.

High point, low

Saturday.

Kent and I got breakfast and scooted out with Mike and a couple of the kids to soccer fields ten minutes from home to watch Noah's not-game. At his age the youngsters don't compete on Saturday mornings, they practice and scrimmage. Oh this morning the wind is blowing, and is cold. I posted how I thought yesterday morning would be windy and cool, there was that chance, and we might not get to go biking... and that's held off til now. Good day for biking yesterday, bad day today for sitting in the sunshine watching Noah's notsoccer because it's COLD! WINDY! Kent and I had on our jackets, so did poor Sarah, and Noah out on the field ran about with his sweatshirt under his soccer jersey. Fall has blown in this weekend too much like spring does in March.



You can see Noah, foot on the ball, center, clutching his hands together to keep warm when the team gets out on the field. I said to Mike Noah's cold and he called him over and undressed the poor child to get his sweatshirt under his jersey, sending him back out after with a high-five. Heck, the coach has his sweatshirt on, yeah.



We watched drills for half an hour. I've cropped Noah out of the bigger picture(s) of the whole team here queued up for drills kicking goals so you can see him in action... he's THE best ball handler on the team!





Blogger won't let me upload the cool video I took, guess it's too long. Noah sent three power-kicks into the net in a row, then turned and gave us a big thumbs up! Wish you could'a been with us in the windy-wind and coldy-cold sunshine for that! For me videoing Noah running to his dad smiling his face off after those "scores" was a high point of our trip! Eh, for Noah, getting a drink and snack after the "game" was the best.

Later we trooped out again, more of us this time, dragging jackets, lunch, water bottles and chairs – the usual – to watch Landon on his soccer field. At ten, Landon and his team make a true game out of the sport, though it's still jungle-ball. We cheered him like crazy.

Later still, Mike and Erin left Kent and I home to tend the little kids and took Landon and seven friends to a play-place for Landon's birthday party. His birthday is Monday but today's the celebration. This isn't your typical play-place for little kids – Landon's ten after all – it was an American Ninja Warrior soft play obstacle course. (I wanted no part of it, nor Kent, which made us the perfect babysitters at home, right? Though Abbie was home with us and did tend Sarah downstairs, while mom and dad took Noah with them in the end. He wanted, wanted to go and watch.) We read books upstairs til it was time to set up for the part of the birthday party Erin was hosting here: pizza, candy, outdoor night games. I put chips and candy in bowls then Kent and I ran to get ice. We were gonna go on to Little Caeser's to pick up pizzas but Mike and Erin texted they'd pick that up on the way home, they were done early.

From 6:00 to 9:00 Landon's friends played hard at this house; and ate big and made noise and got injured (running around the yard in the dark, all good) and had party-time fun. Landon didn't blow out candles on his cake (I frosted earlier) and eat that and ice cream and get presents until after dark.



By then the BYU/UCLA game was on and we adults were gathering children in and sending them home so we could party ourselves!
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(Close to midnight on this long day, grrr, low point of our trip...)

22BYU Cougars (2-1) 23 9UCLA Bruins (3-0) 24

Moving about

Sarah's preschool was cancelled for yesterday so Kent and I stayed home with her in the morning while Erin went to the gym to meet her once-a-week trainer for an hour of hard workouts. If Sarah had been able to go to school we might've ridden out on our bikes for the second day right in a row... then again, not: the wind picked up pretty early. And while we thought today might also be too cool and windy, poor for getting out, it's been actually perfect!

This morning Erin got up with the kids early as usual as we lazily got out of bed and dressed and headed downstairs... while we breakfasted she lay on the couch with Sarah beside her watching a show and fell asleep. (Sheerly exhausted I think from the too-hard workout yesterday. She admits.) At 10:30 (three checks I made between 8:00 and then) she was still asleep and Kent and I were bored reading library books and hearing television sounds downstairs with Sarah's shows so I woke Erin up and wondered if she was ready to go to The Salvation Army Store. It's what we'd said last night we'd do today after breakfast but she seemed absolutely depleted. She wondered what Kent and I wanted to do now (not stay upstairs reading!) and we said we'd like to go bike riding... but didn't want to interfere with her getting out to the store if that's what she wanted. She said go on, I'll rest, get lunch, and we can go to the store after.

So we left, putting the bikes on the car this time and driving to the trail-head we passed Monday night on our family bike ride. Sun: perfect. Wind: nil. Excitement: high. A new trail! We weren't disappointed.


Prairie dog.

End of the paved path.



The good path detours here and (we found out from Mike later) stays gravel a good way. See? We got along down this road and came to



this plank bridge ↓ which we crossed, still finding ourselves on gravel... and in one spot, soft sand. Ugh. No further on this trail for us. We turned around and did the trip in reverse, passing again the prairie dog settlements and seeing the critters scamper from us and stand at their mounds and chirp; moving again past countryside and farmland and across the bucolic settings we love... under the shadiest trees and finally through neighborhoods, getting to the parked car in an eight-mile round-trip ride.



I dialed Erin about two miles from the car and said we'd be home soon, did she want to go to Costco for lunch?!! Kent had just invited me on a lunch date there for a hot dog! She and Sarah did want to go so we cleaned up from our ride once we were home and got in Erin's car and she trundled us up to Costco where we ate dogs then shopped a bit. Kent in a fine enough fettle, we  made our way to The Salvation Army Store for Erin to look for a few more thingies to remodel and me to look for a nightstand lamp, and where Sarah



found her niche on the front sidewalk before we ever got started! (And again when we walked out of the store.. we had to kind of crowbar her out of it.)

You know, this day wasn't over after we delivered ourselves home, tired, got the kids home from school, got dinner thought through and a babysitter instructed... Kent and I and Mike and Erin drove out about 5:00 to the Denver temple (ostensibly to meet up with Lori and Sam, my niece, Erin's first cousin who lives south of them a little and who texted as we were driving they couldn't get to the temple) and got into the 6:00 endowment session. By 8:00 we were in the car again heading to P.F. Chang's in a mall-area halfway between the temple and home and (with Lori and Sam who met us) had a fabulous late dinner.

Though by now Erin (and Lori, who works out with Erin with the same trainer Thursday mornings) this 36 hours later was in a bad way. Every muscle in her body aching and on fire; she'd hardly been able to stand and sit during the temple session without groaning audibly. Clamped into the restaurant chair she (and Lori, too) was ill with pain. I felt sorry! Been there, done that! The girls stayed in good humor about their tremoring, awful muscles (their husbands laughing right out loud)  – unless either tried to move. And we've done nothing all day – with the exception of quite early this morning as Erin lay sleeping – but move about!