For now

❝

Ah, world, what lessons you prepare for us, even in the leafless winter... I am thinking now of grief, and of getting past it; I feel my boots trying to leave the ground, I feel my heart pumping hard. I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbable and beautiful and afraid of nothing, as though I had wings. — Mary Oliver

Somebody

I've a long, long time appreciated this simple illustration. It's ideal in its aspect – and terribly human. It says a lot all by itself though for this post I'm adding a neat quote I love. I recognize who these two depict for me... their relationship. What about you? What'd'ya think?



“Love is all about sacrifices—big and small ones. It’s only when you know how much you could give up for somebody that you know what true love really is.” ― Karen White, Falling Home

Work of light and truth

I listened carefully to President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's Conference talk in October and took these notes:

Learn to listen to God's voice... He cares about you. TEST, EXPERIMENT WITH GOD'S WORD.

1. Search the word of God – ancient and modern prophets – with sincere desire to discover truth. Prepare to receive truth.

2. Consider, ponder, fearlessly strive to believe, understand God's generosity in providing prophets and scriptures.

3. Plead for manifestation of truth.

4. DO God's will, you shall know of the doctrine.

GOD'S WORD, HIS PROMISE, IS THAT HE WILL MANIFEST TRUTH TO US.

If you seek God’s truth, that which now may appear dim, out of focus, and distant will gradually be revealed and clarified and become close to your heart by the light of God’s grace. Glorious spiritual vistas, unimaginable to the human eye, will be revealed to you.

It is my testimony that this spiritual light is within the reach of every child of God. It will enlighten your mind and bring healing to your heart and joy to your days. My dear friends, please do not delay the moment to seek and strengthen your own personal testimony of God’s divine work, even the work of light and truth. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Always thankful

Ever in His presence

Let us, then, learn that we can never be lonely or forsaken in this life. Shall they forget us because they are “made perfect”? Shall they love us the less because they now have power to love us more? If we forget them not, shall they not remember us with God? No trial, then, can isolate us, no sorrow can cut us off from the Communion of Saints. Kneel down, and you are with them; lift up your eyes, and the heavenly world, high above all perturbation, hangs serenely overhead; only a thin veil, it may be, floats between. All whom we loved, and all who loved us–whom we still love no less and they love us yet more–are ever near, because they are ever in His presence in whom we live and dwell. ~Henry Edward Manning (1808–1892)

Now

Broke out my holiday apron yesterday. It's been hanging in the closet since last December, since waaayyyy last year after Christmas when I bought it half-price at Kneader's (where, who knew, aprons are sold!) and since by then I was sick of red and green and fa-la-la-la-laaa...! My Rudolf apron with his red pom-pom nose (that I had to safety pin on the underside a couple of ways; then finally, gah, sew by hand back on... to a faretheewell!) (link) had to go away then, and my pleated, skirted striped-y red-n-green one I bought early last year and loved and loved and loved (I felt so girly!) and wore to smithereens to cook our breakfasts and lunches and dinners in I had to, well, get out of my sight... but not now. No, now I'm ready. I eyed this a month ago on its hanger, its red neck-strings tied in the same bow as when I picked it from the peg on the wall at the sandwich shop... and decided, nope, it's too soon. I'll be REALLY sick of my apron if I start wearing it just after Halloween. NOW'S about right.

Thanksgiving is coming!

(It's that time again....don't forget to set your scales back ten pounds...)

Welcome

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome...
You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Derek Walcott

Be grateful

I read every quote here in this post of Christian quotes (link) and left every one in the queue to bring to my blog because each is thought provoking! I added one though (first in the list), so come back to it again at the end, okay?

The emphasis on every thing for me rules all life, first and last.

Quotes on Blessings

Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks; D&C 98:1

Always count your blessings and thank God for all that you have. Catherine Pulsifer

We are ever surrounded by undeserved blessings. Even in His silence, He blesses us. Dr. David Jeremiah, What Are You Afraid Of?

Live a life of gratitude, giving thanks in all circumstances. Mary C. Neal, MD, To Heaven and Back

It is God's will to bless us, but not necessarily on our terms. Sometimes what we think would be a wonderful blessing would not bless us at all. Joyce Meyers, Be Anxious For Nothing

Confidently receive God's abundant blessings. Think abundance, prosperity, and the best of everything. Norman Vincent Peale, Have A Great Day

In gratitude for God's gift of life to us we should share that gift with others. The art of giving encompasses many areas. It is an outgoing, overflowing way of life. Wilferd A. Peterson, The Art of Living Treasure Chest

If we are to receive the blessings God wants to bestow upon us, we must be willing to give Him the messes in our lives. Joyce Meyers, Be Anxious For Nothing

I don’t know when God has called you, or how or to where God is calling you, but I do know this; God wants you to be a blessing. Rev. David Weyrick, Called By God: Responders of Biblical Proportion

There are so many blessings that go along with tithing, but it is the principle of putting God first and the principle of faith that initiates the blessings. It is the trigger. Robert Morris, The Blessed Life: The Simple Secret of Achieving Guaranteed Financial Results

Blessed is the man who gets the opportunity to devote his life to something bigger than himself and who finds himself surrounded by friends who share his passion. Andy Stanley

It's not easy or even graspable perhaps at this moment, but try to imagine that it is actually a blessing that this catastrophe has come into your life and that through you God is doing wonderful things in this world. Tom Fay, Saving Your Faith, Your Home, And Your House: A Guide to Faith in Turbulent Times

The Lord has turned all our sunsets into sunrises. Clement of Alexandria



The decision to give ourselves to others is a daily taking up of the cross. Charles Swindoll, Day by Day

It is a blessed thought, that from our childhood God has been laying His fatherly hands upon us, and always in benediction; that even the strokes of His hands are blessings, and among the chiefest we have ever received. Henry Edward Manning

We are sent to bless the world, but we are never told to compromise with it. A. W. Tozer

Acceptance is taking from God's hand absolutely anything He gives, looking into His face in trust and thanksgiving. Charles R. Swindoll, Great Attitudes for Graduates!

Genuine thanksgiving is a response to both who God is and what He has done, is doing, and will do. Joyce Meyers, The Power of Simple Prayer

Be grateful for who you are and whatever you have. Everything you have is a gift from God. Rick Warren, What On Earth Am I Here for?

Dreams

Slept restlessly, dreams too vivid early this morning.

I have to say I was glad to wake early relieved from shifting, frustrating dreams... they started when my friend Sharon Eubank came to my house to visit teach me, though she lounged on the floor in front of the chair in the room by the front door, her legs stretched out and ankles crossed, just watching me. I was in the adjacent room folding laundry and tending children... I remember it dawning on me that hours had gone by and I'd not spoken to Sharon. I said to her I could visit now, and she smiled.

She hadn't come with a companion. Then... we were in a car with Erin and her kids (were these hers I'd been tending?)... and Carol Paxton, a friend I haven't seen in a year, was driving. Long, naturally blonde hair is one of Carol's fine features and I watched that sideways from where I sat beside her; how odd, really. Then another woman I didn't know was in the car... I asked Sharon if either of these was her visiting teaching companion and she said no and smiled.

I began to know we all worked together in the ward Primary and Carol was in the Primary presidency. She and the other woman were with Sharon and me for the four of us to receive training, and that at a restaurant we were driving to... I parked the car (I was driving) and got out and all of us including the kids walked toward the restaurant and sat in like a patio area, and I kept trying to keep track of the kids (yet and still my job). There we waited and I kept missing some of the kids... I had to walk to the car for something then and said wait for me and came back to the patio and everybody was gone. The place was empty.

I felt my way into the very dark interior of the restaurant and saw everybody seated on both sides of two or three cloth-covered tables pushed end to end, their meal finished. I took a chair in front of a plate of food someone had piled up, food I couldn't eat. I sorted across the table for something I could or would eat and was making excuses to my friends and the kids, ones sitting right across from me. My granddaughter Abbie ... their faces shifted, turned into others I knew, then went away. It was dark. I looked down at my plate…

Yah, I was super happy to open my eyes finally, free of my, er, not so sweet dreams.

Follow

Elder Rex D. Pinegar, Conference talk 1991: I feel it is appropriate for us to ask, “Where do we rank Jesus Christ in our lives? Does He come first, as He should?” Perhaps a more significant question would be, “Where would we rank ourselves as followers of Jesus’ teachings?” Do we live as Christians in word and deed?

Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Conference talk April 2013: As Jesus taught, those who love Him will keep His commandments. Following Christ is not a casual or occasional practice but a continuous commitment and way of life that applies at all times and in all places.

As part of His great Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). The purpose of this teaching and the purpose of following our Savior is to come to the Father, whom our Savior referred to as “my Father, and your Father; and … my God, and your God” (John 20:17).

From modern revelation, unique to the restored gospel, we know that the commandment to seek perfection is part of God the Father’s plan for the salvation of His children. Under that plan we are all heirs of our heavenly parents.

Is it enough alone to know

That we must follow him below,

While trav’ling thru this vale of tears?

No, this extends to holier spheres. …

For thrones, dominions, kingdoms, pow’rs,

And glory great and bliss are ours,

If we, throughout eternity,

Obey his words, “Come, follow me.”⁷

Birthday girl

It's Marcia's BIRTHDAY today... she's old as dirt! Naw, actually Marcia's younger than I am by nineteen months and I sometimes wonder if, eh, I didn't "run her over" when we brothers and sisters queued up to be born to mom and dad so I could come first. (Why would I do that?) I wish she hadn't let me elbow her out of the way 'cause she'd be a great oldest child, though she got here fast as she could!

Marcia's a real go-getter. A nickname for her that Chris our brother got going with his sons (they pretty much nicknamed all us aunts and uncles) is "Forthright." It's stuck, even her husband grins and nods, though don't be mad Marcia if you don't like it... even you think it's pretty right on! You cut to the chase faster than about anyone I know except for dad. And Kent, well. You're in good company.

Since she arrived home months ago now to live up the sidewalk from me Marcia and I have walked every so often early in the mornings. I've run to her house next to mine to oooh-n-aaah at various times over clothes and doodads and recipes, or to sit on Marcia's comfy furniture and talk. Or to trade food - we're always needing something the other has. I call her once a day but text like a dozen really. We've hung pictures, gone shopping far from home, listened to each other teach in Church (her, R.S., me, Gospel Doctrine), ridden bikes together, and pretty much philosophized a whole lot. Truthfully it's like that when all four of us sisters get together – (link). LOVE when that happens! Love me this BFF (linky) post from almost three years ago, makes me smile!

Us girls had our pictures taken with mom recently, just my little camera. Here's the first of what I may post from time to time – these were only so-so, but the memories they evoke are precious. Happy Birthday, Marcia, we love you!

Solace

Mystery series

So I got reading Karen Harper's Elizabeth I mystery series last month and ended up loving these books! (Now I've gone to another "Karen" in a whole different genre and am on, like, book five of Karen White's novels with characters from the South. Mm, love to be drawn into a good story!) Anyway,  I checked every Karen Harper Elizabeth I book out of the library and read 'em all in a row. Kind of like diving into a whole pizza, you can't eat just one piece... you like characters and want to see how they develop during tons of adventures. Here are the stories, all nine of them. May be worth your time... if you like the Tudor period (grab a taste of it!) and can imagine Elizabeth I as the adventurous mystery-solving type. I could and did and swallowed her whole!

Goodness

This is exactly how my loaf looked, right down to the parchment paper and the cooling rack and coconut sprinkled on top. Only mine waaayyy sunk in the middle (hers, just a little - hey, that rhymes!), but if you cut the cake in half long-wise, then slice... well, yum, you get awesome bite-size halves that fit in your mouth just right.

And, I used pomegranate-cherry-acai jam I had hanging around. It's that sticky goodness you see on the bottom of the loaf (though, 'course, hers is apricot) and is swirled throughout, giving a gentle fruity flavor in this mostly buttery, coconutty, mmm, won't-dry-out bread.

APRICOT & COCONUT LOAF CAKE
http://www.poiresauchocolat.net/2013/10/apricot-coconut-loaf-cake.html

For the cake:
7/8 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
¾ (+) cup caster (super-fine white) sugar
3 eggs
1 cup (tiny bit less) all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
pinch of fine sea salt
1 cup unsweetened coconut
3 tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla extract
6 tbsp. apricot jam/preserve (I like to use a chunky jam that's not too sweet)

For the glaze:
1.5 tbsp. apricot jam
1 tbsp. water
about a tsp. of desiccated coconut

Preheat the oven to 350F. Line a 9 x 4 loaf tin with greased parchment (or as I used here, greased parchment lined foil). Place the butter and sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer (or a mixing bowl if using an electronic hand whisk) and cream until light and fluffy - this takes at least four or five minutes. Sieve the flour, baking powder and salt together.

Whisk the eggs together. Add the egg in small additions to the creamed mix, making sure you beat in between each addition until the mixture has totally incorporated the egg you've added - add a tablespoon of flour about half way through and again near the end to help prevent curdling. When you've finished the egg, add the rest of the flour mix and the coconut and briefly beat to combine. Add the milk and vanilla and stir briefly again until you have a uniform mixture.

Spread 3 tbsp. of the jam over the bottom of the tin. Scoop 2/3 of the cake batter on top and level it. Swirl in the remaining 3 tbsp. of jam then top with the rest of the cake mixture and level off again. Bake for 45-55 minutes until deep golden brown and a toothpick/skewer can be removed cleanly from the middle.

Combine the jam and water for the glaze in a small saucepan and heat until you have a syrup. Brush it over the top of the hot cake, using all of the glaze. Sprinkle the coconut over the top. Leave to cool in the tin for 5 minutes then lift out onto a wire rack to cool. Keeps for 3-4 days in an airtight tin.

(Makes 1 loaf cake, about 10 slices)

Praise

Praise consists in the love of God, in wonder at the goodness of God, in recognition of the gifts of God, in seeing God in all things He gives us, ay, and even in the things that He refuses to us; so as to see our whole life in the light of God; and seeing this, to bless Him, adore Him, and glorify Him. ~Henry Edward Manning (1808–1892)

The Battle For Our Souls

By Lisa Love
Posted on her blog "Much More Him" (link) September 25, 2011

Just because one has hope and faith and a testimony doesn't mean that life will be easy. In fact, often it means life may be harder because the Lord knows how much you want to be like Him, so some serious refining and purifying must take place. Refining hurts. It hurts a lot, and no one is exempt and we all go through refining in different ways. I am overwhelmed lately at how many friends I have who are struggling, and not just with a hang nail or two. SERIOUSLY struggling with HARD, HARD, HARD experiences.

The battle metaphor seems to fit perfectly. "We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12

We are in a battle – a battle for our souls. In my mind I can see us all out on a battle field, our armor on, swords ready, willing to defend ourselves. As I look around, I see that we all have suffered wounds of varying degrees. We have scars indicating past battles and open wounds, evidence that the battle is still raging. I notice too that we are not on the battle field alone. Yes, "they who be with us are more than they who be with them" (2 Kings 6:16), meaning there are legions of angels enlisted in our defense. But we are also standing there along side each other... for a reason.

Satan would love nothing more than to have us judge, point fingers, gossip, backbite and not assist each other whatsoever. While out on that battlefield if we saw that one of our fellow soldiers had fallen and as we approached we saw the blood from his open wound, would we shout to the other soldiers,"Come see! This one is wounded. Can you believe the size of that wound? Look at all that blood. How did he let that happen? Stay away from him, he is no good any more. I am so disappointed in him."? OR would we just run around whispering to all of the other soldiers that so and so had been wounded and was lying there bleeding to death, with no intention of offering any help? No. We would not.

That sounds ridiculous because it is ridiculous. We would get down, bandage the soldier's wounds, make sure he knew we were there to help and do all we could to assist that fallen soldier. As the world grows more and more wicked and more and more of our fellow soldiers fall with serious wounds, we must spiritually, emotionally and mentally, assist each other.

Just as Satan wants us to hurt each other, the Savior wants us to love and forgive and be gentle and kind with one another as we find our way Home. He said, "Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees." (Doctrine and Covenants 81:5) ... A good soldier never leaves a man behind, and if all you can do is kneel next to the wounded soldier and pray for him, then at least do that.

My definition of wounds is the mental, emotional, spiritual and even physical evidence of trials in ones life. In his book entitled "All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience," Neal A. Maxwell said that there are three types of trials in this life:

1. Facing the consequences of our own unrighteous choices. He actually said this is the most common reason for our trials and if we really sit down and think about it, he's right.

2. The natural vicissitudes that come from living in an imperfect world with imperfect bodies. We get sick, our hearts are broken by the unrighteous choices of others, and we are subject to natural disasters, discomfort due to the weather, political upheaval etc.

3. A loving Father chooses to school us so that we can learn and grow and deepen our understanding of His plan.

Suffice it to say that we each have wounds. The sources of those wounds are as different as each of us. Often, it is a given that if someone is suffering from wounds caused by certain physical illnesses or natural disasters or the hurtful actions of others or anything that is not the person's fault it is so much easier for us to offer aid and comfort. But when someone is suffering because of the consequences of their own actions or they are enduring pain from "taboo" wounds, such as mental illnesses, it is much harder for us to do as the Savior requests – "succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down and strengthen the feeble knees."

We must be patient with each other and never pass judgment unless we have all the facts, and WE WILL NEVER HAVE ALL THE FACTS. That is why the Savior reserves the right to judge for Himself – He knows the thoughts and intents of our hearts, why we do what we do and how hard we struggle and He knows when we display private courage, integrity, forgiveness and understanding – even if no one else knows this about us.

Interestingly enough, the pain that has brought me the most sorrow in my life is the pain I have felt because of the things I have done that brought sorrow to others – especially my Savior. I have a feeling most people feel the same. It is becoming clearer and clearer to me that the wounds which I must focus on the most are the wounds in the Savior's hands and feet and side. If I let them, those wounds, His wounds, will heal my wounds.

-----

President Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency: I remember as a bishop looking out at the face and the posture of a young man of the priesthood and having the thought come to my mind so clearly that it seemed audible: “I need to see him—and soon. Something is happening. He needs help.”

I would never put off such an impression because I had learned that the wounds of sin are often not felt at first by the one being hurt. Satan seems sometimes to inject something to deaden the spiritual pain while inflicting the wound. Unless something happens soon to begin repentance, the wound can worsen and widen. (“Man Down!” April, 2009 General Conference Priesthood Session)

Proclaim the truth

We have the truth to give to the world. We have the plan of life and salvation. We have the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, and if we will live our religion, the Lord God Almighty will bless us. . . . Every Latter-day Saint should have a desire, above all other things, that his life should proclaim the truth, and that his life should be a teacher of the truth, not only to the world, but especially to his own family.~ Heber J. Grant

Never change

 Louise Parker - Iron Rod

The core of the gospel—the doctrine and the principles—will never change. Living according to the basic gospel principles will bring power, strength, and spiritual self-reliance into the lives of all Latter-day Saints. ~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Capacity

The ability to give and experience love and joy doesn't just happen, it needs to be stretched and strengthened. And over time, the capacity to love and to joy increases.  ~Susan Forshey

Who am I to judge?

Folks watch us. We watch folks. Observe even stare to the point we may think we "get" them. Maybe we do – probably we don't though ever truly know another.

We do learn from each other by a lot of observing. I watched one of my friends teaching Relief Society last week... what better way to be up close and personal than when they're standing in front of you for forty minutes?... and think I understand much about her. I sent her an e-mail a few days later. Here's part of it:

"Dear Barbara, thanks for your insightful lesson this past week... You're as calm and sensitive a teacher as I am emotional and declarative when I'm in front! I'm attracted to your style and wish to "copy" that better at times when I present. I observe deep spirituality in you and hope myself for the same well of humility and knowledge that seems bottomless in you. Thank goodness for our various skills and talents and testimonies! We grow by observing each other's examples. You're a wonderful example to me, Barbara."

I reached out, fascinated by my friend as one may be by a fish in its bowl. Sure enough we do live in one of these each, wholly contained in our sphere of the "personal..." As surely "breathing" our circumstances and life experiences as fish do water by their gills – that which surrounds us, passes upon and through us, and IS us.

And we watch each other.... even intently. As up close as we're allowed to get, still, well in the words of this guy... Douglas Adams (March 11, 1952 - May 11, 2001)... (and who is he, please?)

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?

The Law

We need to be constantly reminded of the eternal reasons behind the things we are commanded to do. The basic gospel principles need to be part of our life’s fabric, even if it means learning them over and over again. That doesn’t mean that this process should be rote or boring. Rather, when we teach the foundational principles in our homes or in church, let the flame of enthusiasm for the gospel and the fire of testimony bring light, warmth, and joy to the hearts of those we teach. ~The Why of Priesthood Service  PRESIDENT DIETER F. UCHTDORF,Second Counselor in the First Presidency

Worth remembering

“Today’s a new day.
It’s your day.
You shape it.
Live your truth.
Express your love.
Share your enthusiasm.
Take action towards your dreams.
Walk your talk.
Dance and sing to your music.
Embrace your blessings.
Make today worth remembering.
At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets.”

Steve Marboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Craving God

I was peeling potatoes at the sink a few days ago and realized I was going back and forth in my mind about buying a couple of candy bars when I got to the store later. It was Halloween and that urge (psychological craving) for candy was strong! I'd not have one, no... two, why not?

Uhm, every reason in the book, that's why not. I know the routine: I'd probably not have just those two, enjoying that and calling it good. I'd eat out of control the rest of day. That candy would set me up, stir up cravings for sugar and salt and crunch and big portions during the day, offering me illicit permission to... sin. Here I'd be this day flying under the radar of my own commitment, a sneak and a liar. Yup.

I know how this feels to want; and want out of control and not keep my word to myself.

My word to myself and others and my God is that I desire to please God! Follow Christ's example, be His disciple. I say it out of my mouth; write it here and in my journal; teach it in the adult Sunday School class. Counsel our children about the blessings and promises of doing so... considering buying candy bars is No Sin – not even for me who doesn't recover from the taste (and rush) of candy in my mouth well. Two candy bars at a pop Isn't Even A Sin – but can be and even one can be, gah! the beginning for me of yielding to the opposite of what I really desire to do.

Please God. (And myself.)

It's called yielding to the enticings of the devil rather than to the Holy Spirit. The whisperings of the Holy Ghost who has been granted my companion from my baptism. I know this and am considering (as I peel potatoes) – I'm AWARE – of how I may make my choice about the candy bars from either a) my knowledge of how choosing them = bad junk for me,  or b) my devotion to God.

To “yield” means to submit to someone or something. “Enticings” are persuasive or pleasant invitations. Erm , candy is (so!) pleasant, and I want candy, and it's no sin to have candy. But more than I want IT... yes, well and truly... I want to

Keep my word.
Keep my weight and energy.
Keep my power to choose in conjunction with the Spirit and the example of the Savior.
Keep in good standing with God (and myself); and
Keep deep inner peace.
-----

"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord..." (Mosiah 3:19)

Atmosphere

"For me, a landscape does not exist in its own right, since its appearance changes at every moment; but the surrounding atmosphere brings it to life - the light and the air which vary continually. For me, it is only the surrounding atmosphere which gives subjects their true value." ~Claude Monet

Oh for paradise I think at times, especially now that the days are cold. Perpetual summer the very thing! "Slippers" ... Sarah from Kauai would call these ↓... I would run out of any day to meet the water at shore's edge. I could go barefoot all my life!



The beach! Its light and air give me pause, the rhythms of water and winds besides. Clouds, a boon... and here's a day in late summer actually gone to fall on Sarah's island.  Oh for paradise how I'd drink it in if I too were lounging on the beach with some time on my hands...



... and sand in my toes!



(Speaking of barefoot...)

"Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies." ~Erich Fromm

Figment of my imagination

Sometimes I wonder... I just do...



... what it'd be like if Kent weren't here... I mean... just thinking. If he... died.

People CAN pass away suddenly and sometimes I think about that.

Try to figure out who I'd be... how would I get along? Me → (alone.)

I'd miss him so much! Don't even know how much – I can only imagine. And here and now it's a place I don't like. I can't go there... God-willing, I don't have to yet.

God. Willing.

Kent, dearest man, so glad you're NOT, you know... you → (not here.)

Things my hands have made

I don't know if you can even see what these are, they're 'bout the size of postage stamps... not even that big! But look, here's my collection from my Christmas scrap pages directory on my computer, digital pages I've done over many years now. Christmas and winter pages are these, only; they feel special... there's magic in 'em! I browsed the assortment close up not two hours ago – whew, it's not even time for Christmas, tell me it isn't so – and have loved every detail of every page!

For me getting into these nether parts of my computer and clicking back in time is like how I used to feel as a teenager and even later as a young woman going through my mother's cedar chest with her. She'd open it rarely, and rarely was I with her; there were maybe two times. Going through my "things" here feels like watching mom go through her things then, and even myself getting to handle those. Mom handled her belongings lovingly. Many, most, she had made herself. Her wedding dress and veil is there. My first coat and baby bonnet, plaid wool, actually made by her own mother for me, the grandchild; felt Christmas stockings mom had made from the years Marcia and I were little, a few bangles on them still.

I have a lot of my own things now to go back and "get the feel of." I do keep creating and adding to the pile as well – I've done it for the last decade writing poetry, blogging, journaling and paper-and-digital scapbooking, and before that for too many years it's been crafting and sewing, my favorite being quilting. Feels like I cut my teeth as a baby-child on hand and machine sewing. Created things appeal to me. Long gone are so many I've made over the years – maybe you have some of them! – and maybe that's a good thing. Thankfully, my digital images don't take up the space my king-size quilts used to!

Anymore, creating things doesn't take up my time the way that used to. I'm happy enough for moments to review the things my hands have made, love them, and put them away again.
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It's early early for this, but here it is is. I worked it up, oh, I dunno... months ago when I had the time and the creative juices... for posting in December. But I'll post it now... it's almost whew time for Christmas!