Never, no never, no never forsake

Wayward Children: Though He Were Dead

By Larry Barkdull, Meridian Magazine, Wednesday, June 26 2013 (link)

When wayward children break our hearts by their foolish and destructive choices, we often mourn that the only option within our control is prayer, and we sometimes imagine that prayer is a weak solution for what is really needed. But to our knees is exactly where we should go. The Lord hears and answers prayers—that is an oft-repeated promise and should be our confidence.

Both the Father and the Son will help us work with our wayward children. As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, it is inherent in the very nature of the Father and the Son to help and bless us:

Consider, for example, the Savior’s benediction upon his disciples even as he moved toward the pain and agony of Gethsemane and Calvary. On that very night, the night of the greatest suffering that has ever taken place in the world or that ever will take place, the Savior said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you... Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27). 

I submit to you that may be one of the Savior’s commandments that is, even in the hearts of otherwise faithful Latter-day Saints, almost universally disobeyed; and yet I wonder whether our resistance to this invitation could be any more grievous to the Lord’s merciful heart... I am convinced that none of us can appreciate how deeply it wounds the loving heart of the Savior of the world when he finds that his people do not feel confident in his care or secure in his hands or trust in his commandments.

Just because God is God, just because Christ is Christ, they cannot do other than care for us and bless us and help us if we will but come unto them, approaching their throne of grace in meekness and lowliness of heart. They can’t help but bless us... It is their nature.

Then Elder Holland extended this apostolic promise:

Listen to this wonderful passage from President George Q. Cannon teaching precisely this very doctrine: “No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will. He cannot do it. It is not His character [to do so]. He is an unchangeable being; the same yesterday, the same today, and He will be the same throughout the eternal ages to come. We have found that God. We have made Him our friend, by obeying His Gospel; and He will stand by us.

We may pass through the fiery furnace; we may pass through deep waters; but we shall not be consumed nor overwhelmed. We shall emerge from all these trials and difficulties the better and purer for them, if we only trust in our God and keep His commandments.”

Does this promise, along with other prophetic promises, not give parents of wayward children reason to hope? Even if the child passes away in his/her waywardness? As President Lorenzo Snow said, “Our prospects are grand and glorious.”
-----

“The Prophet Joseph Smith declared—and he never taught a more comforting doctrine—that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a 
(Prodigal son by Rembrandt)
loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God” (Orson F. Whitney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1929, 110).

Brigham Young, second president of the Church, taught, “Let the father and mothers… take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from whence they sprang.”(quoted in Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols. [1954–56], 2:90–91).

Lorenzo Snow, fifth President of the Church, stated: “If you succeed in passing through these trials and afflictions and receive a resurrection, you will, by the power of the Priesthood, work and labor, as the Son of God has, until you get all your sons and daughters in the path of exaltation and glory. This is just as sure as that the sun rose this morning over yonder mountains. Therefore, mourn not because all your sons and daughters do not follow in the path that you have marked out to them, or give heed to your counsels. Inasmuch as we succeed in securing eternal glory, and stand as saviors, and as kings and priests to our God, we will save our posterity” (in Collected Discourses, comp. Brian H. Stuy, 5 vols. [1987–92], 3:364).

Love All

DAVID B. HAIGHT of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, October 1982 General Conference

The Savior’s parable of the Good Samaritan is the pure essence of love:

“A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

“And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

“And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

“But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,

“And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

“And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

“Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?” (Luke 10:30–36.)

The essential difference between the Samaritan and the other two men was that one had a compassionate heart and the others had selfish hearts.

“There are tests by which [the full and essential nature of love] may be recognized," wrote Elder John A. Widtsoe.

• “Love is always founded in truth... Lies and deceit, or any other violation of the moral law, are proofs of love’s absence.
• Love perishes in the midst of untruth. Thus... [he] who falsifies to his loved one, or offers her any act contrary to truth, does not really love her.
• Further, love does not offend or hurt or injure the loved one. Cruelty is as absent from love... as truth is from untruth.
• Love is a positive active force. It helps the loved one. If there is need, love tries to supply it. If there is weakness, love supplants it with strength. Love that does not help is a faked or transient love.”

“Good as these tests are, there is a greater one. True love sacrifices for the loved one. That is the final test. Christ gave of Himself, gave His life, for us, and thereby proclaimed the reality of his love for his mortal brethren and sisters.” (An Understandable Religion, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1944, p. 72.)
-----

God does not love us because we are lovable, have a pleasing personality or a good sense of humor, or at rare times show exceptional kindness. In spite of who we are and what we have done, God wants to pour out His love on us, for the unlovable are also precious unto Him. Elder David B. Haight, Love All

Fare enough

Mm, I just wanna eat grilled corn peach salsa on everything. It's SO darn good!

2 fresh ears of corn grilled and removed from the cob,  or you can use 1 10oz can sweet corn
2 medium peaches, finely chopped
2 roma tomatoes. chopped
1/4 cup of sweet onions, finely chopped
1/4 cup of cilantro, minced
3 teaspoons of lime juice
1 teaspoon of red wine vinegar

Mix everything together and refrigerate.

I halved this recipe.

Grilled the corn on my George Foreman. Actually you guys you need to hack that cob into quarters and spray these with oil to get grill marks on the George... the real grill, the real deal, would've been easier only in that the whole cob'll fit on it but harder because you gotta crank it up to cook, watch the corn like a hawk, and clean up big time after. I improvised with my indoor grill, and it worked! Shoot, maybe just laying corn kernels from a can on the George would'a done the trick too, hm.

I grilled the peach. Can you believe it! Yes. Halved the peach and smeared butter on the two flat sides, sprayed the skin, and put it on the George with the carn. "Carn" is how you say it here in Utah.

I used beefsteak tomatoes - use any kind.

Diced up red onion, not sweet. It's bright.

Added more cilantro. I've got it waving at me in my crisper, why not!

I dissed the red wine vinegar and used all fresh-squeezed lime. I have the coolest lime squeezer! Oh. My. Goodness.

'Cause I always do when I make pico or salsa, I added diced jalapeño. My stars and garters that's good.

The corn in this pic below from the recipe site doesn't have grill marks on it, gee. You want that.

Had grilled corn peach salsa on my pan-seared salmon a few days ago. Then on salmon croquettes I made yesterday - these turned out super crisp on the outside crusted with Panko and pan-fried, and moist on the inside even after a few minutes under the broiler... and with cool salsa atop, they were outt'a this world. I creamed peas and potatoes to go with them. Dad liked that the best, he's a potato guy... Dad, sitting across from me at the table, eyed the hierba I was spooning over my croquettes and dolloped tartar sauce on top of his. Safe.

Had grilled corn peach salsa on my mushroom/red onion/green pepper frittata this morning. Just now. Just right now I ate the very last bite of my breakfast. ¿Quieres hierbas, papá? I said to dad who was spooning Paces Medium Picante Sauce from a jar over his wedge of egg hot from the pan. He stopped mid-spoon, he did, and looked across the table at me. Grinned. He knows not to engage; el no le gusta las hierbas. (Link)

I just wanna eat grilled corn peach salsa on everything!

Erm, now I can't 'cause I ate it all.

Contribute

• Do more than belong: participate.
• Do more than care: help.
• Do more than believe: practice.
• Do more than be fair: be kind.
• Do more than forgive: forget.
• Do more than dream: work.

—William Arthur Ward, (1921-1994); writer

Delicious!

Okay, I cooked the most amazing salmon day before yesterday, marinated in teriyaki, honey and lime for an hour in the fridge and seared in a crazy hot pan a few minutes on each side; covered on the plate with a tomato, peach, grilled corn, cilantro, red onion, limey, mm, relish. I loved it! Seriously?!!! Yes! And later a black bean flourless cake right in my blender which I never thought you could do, and boy is it amazing. I was like, wow, my son-in-law Robert really needs to get a piece of this on his fork and in his mouth, he'd go nuts. Erm, whether from shock (he doesn't like beans) or joy (can't taste the beans).

YOU CAN'T TASTE THE BEANS PEOPLE!

This is the picture from the website where I ended up getting the recipe for the cake... I love this cake! With powdered sugar on top like a rich, dark, and understated Italian dessert, or 2-layered  ← with gooey frosting between and all over, this flourless cake is now one of my most favorite desserts.

Ever.

Period.

I Googled white bean vanilla cake (yes I did) (because I betcha it's out there) and voilà, the same recipe works for a yellow- or vanilla-flavored cake using white beans instead of black, no cocoa powder of course but coconut flour or protein powder, you decide. Six tablespoons only, just like with the unsweetened cocoa, so... this's essentially flourless too.

I'm gonna do it. This weekend. I bet I rave.

I made cookies yesterday, mom's banana chocolate chip which she asks about pretty often after any meal; I got chocolate cake mom, I'll say and she'll ask, any cookies? She came up to dinner and saw the chocolate chip cookies on the counter cooling and walked over to them instead of sitting down. Oops, dad had a time getting her to dinner and her apron on... and Kent's favorite molasses cookies. Ginger snaps, really. I ran out of molasses (I doubled the dough in case Chris comes around, he's a ginger snaps-aholic) and, shucks, had to substitute dark Karo syrup and brown sugar. But that's okay - they came out perfectly round and crackled on top like we all like 'em and smelling to high heaven of cloves and ginger.

Uh huh.

FLOURLESS BLACK BEAN CHOCOLATE CAKE
Adapted from http://healthyindulgences.net/2009/05/healthy-chocolate-cake-with-a-secret/

This recipe makes one 9×9 inch cake or one round cake. For a layer cake, double the recipe.

1-15 ounce can of unseasoned black beans
5 large eggs
1 cup sugar (I used this instead of a sugar substitute; see the website for that)
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon water

Preheat oven to 375. Prepare baking pan by greasing with butter, then dusting with cocoa powder.

Blend everything in the blender, like this: Rinse the beans and put them in the blender. Add 3 eggs, sugar, vanilla and salt. Blend on high until it’s completely smooth with no lumps at all. Add butter, blend for 1 minute. Add 4th egg, blend for 1 minute. Add last egg, blend for 1 minute. Add cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda and water, blend again until completely mixed through, about 1 more minute.

Pour into prepared pan and bake for 40-45 30 (plus) minutes. Allow to cool and by all means, add frosting!

Move forward with faith

Elder Brent H. Nielson of the First Quorum of the Seventy writes in the June 2013 Ensign magazine about going in circles. When he and his wife Marcia, my sister, first got to New Zealand several years ago



they were handed car keys and asked to drive to Hamilton from Aukland. Two hours, "not a difficult task" said Elder Nielson, "until we got in our car and started to drive. In New Zealand they drive on the right side of the car and on the left side of the road, opposite of what we were used to in the United States. To make matters more difficult, in New Zealand almost every intersection is a roundabout—a circular drive connecting several intersecting roads. We don’t have many of those in the western United States.

We spent a lot of our trip in roundabouts. In fact, we noticed that we could stay in a roundabout as long as we liked; there was no requirement to get out. So as we were trying to determine directions, we found ourselves stuck in roundabouts, going in circles."

He aims his comments at young singles and the newly-married - but it's great for everyone - saying that "instead of moving forward to their destination, they spend time going around and around, their progress stalled. Their biggest challenge seems to be fear—fear of the future, fear of failure, fear of not knowing who they are or what they can become.

We

in God the Father and in His Son, Jesus Christ."

This from Elder Nielson ↓ (below my own quote) particularly caught my attention on the heels of insights I've posted recently into receiving all that the father has, posturing ourselves this way.

(From my post "A Mighty Change" [link]) "I think you have to be willing to pray "I will receive it all" if you're praying to be taught. Distinct from "I will give my all to Thee," much as has been taught us as followers of Christ, a new thought (to me) is "I will receive Thy all, Father." And my spiritual self is outstretched toward what I pray for, no matter how I find myself in real life."

→ Getting out of the roundabout of forgetfulness about our identity: "The more we learn [with the best education we can get], the more we understand how little we know about God and His creations. I do know that you are His most prized and divine creation. Imagine your ability—as you live righteously, receive sacred ordinances, and follow God’s commandments—to “inherit all things” (Revelation 21:7).

• Does that begin to expand your understanding and imagination of who you really are and what you can possibly achieve? 
• Do you begin to see that if you take your education and couple it with enlightenment from the Holy Ghost, you will begin to understand things as they really are and as they really will be? (Jacob 4:13). 
• Do you understand that “with God all things are possible”? (Matthew 19:26).

And here is the fascinating part: You are His divine heir (1 Corinthians 2:9).

To move forward with faith, you must get out of this roundabout of forgetfulness and understand that God is truly your Father and that you are His divine creation.



The rest of the article is magnificent. I wish my kids and family could download it straight into their heads and hearts where it's imprinted - instead of just into their SmartDevices which they keep in their pockets.

Here's a coupl'a links for it. Read it!

PDF file: http://media.ldscdn.org/pdf/magazines/ensign-june-2013/2013-06-00-ensign-eng.pdf

Web file: http://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/06/move-forward-with-faith?lang=eng

Duh!

Stephanie Ackerman (link)

On track

My friend Kristin and I walked a few mornings ago, starting at a church parking lot above our neighborhood and commencing along the paved road toward the golf course. We hadn't gone many steps when we saw sidling off to our left into the brush a dirt path.

We took it. Traipsed across the sidewalk and off-road. This is where my husband runs - it'll connect further down I'm sure, said Kristin, and I doubted it not. It was wide and welcoming. In a few steps we were plunging down the mountainside.

It grew stony. Runoff had rutted this part of the hill leaving crevasses, gaping cracks, where we walked. Was it a deer trail actually further down though, narrowing? Stickers and thistles and tall grass abounding finally, we moved along it.

I turned my ankle. The way narrowed and I waded in burrs. It ended at a drop off I wasn't willing at last to clamber down and we turned around and went back up, the sun too scaling the hills before us.

This isn't what I thought it was, apologized Kristin. Ah, well, we'd had an adventure... and gotten nowhere. Except down and back to ground zero. That'll learn ya'.

Dad has this expression don't run off into the brush doing funny things. It's a goofball statement to make me laugh. It answers though for any variety of transgressions I guess... for this is what "to transgress" literally is: infringe, go off beyond or across a limit or boundary. Overstep. How often I've been there and done that! And had to come back to ground zero.

Dad makes a clear case in a jokey way - and our sunrise adventure did too, oh well - for staying on track. Sometimes it doesn't matter much, but mostly it does when we transgress.

58th

Dad looked at us at the breakfast table and announced this morning this has been the best 58 years of my life.

Good heavens! Mom's and dad's wedding anniversary is today.

From mom's scrapbook...



Annie, dad said to mom over waffles and a cut up banana, you're beautiful.

Mom smiled - I love to see her smile - and said thank you.

Fresh as today's headlines

Charles Todd has become one of my favorite authors. The pen name is used by a mother and son, Caroline and Charles Todd, who co-write mysteries, thrillers and historical fiction. I'm following shell-shocked Ian Rutledge through a mystery series who has returned from four years on the battlefield in WWI. For months in the muddy trenches of the Battle of the Somme, France, in 1916, Rutledge (as characterized by Todd) faced his terrors. Of dying.

Then, of not... "Courage," he says...

“... is not measured by
Marching bands and banners in the wind.
If you have not walked
The bloody lines and seen the faces,
You have no right to describe it so.
We die here to keep you safe at home,
And what we suffer
Pray you may never know.” ― Charles Todd, A False Mirror

He faces himself now as a survivor in the months after the war. Struggles to put himself together, taking back his job as Inspector at Scotland Yard and deploying his wits and some skill for solving crimes of murder in rural England and Scotland. Before him, the mysteries surrounding awful death and, behind, in flashback, the horror of the same... remains a test of wills.

“Now he realized that somehow those who had served in France and elsewhere knew a world that couldn’t be shared. How could he tell his sister—or even his father, if the elder Rutledge was still alive—what had been done on bloody ground far from home? It would be criminal to fill their minds with scenes that no one should have to remember. No one.” ― Charles Todd, A False Mirror

The Charles Todd team fleshes out its novels' characters wonderfully, the living and the dead. I've read eight or nine books in the Inspector Rutledge series already and've hustled to keep the next one (and the next, from the library) queued up because I'm not tired of this character. Nor the history of the Great War, nor the landscape of Great Britain, nor the wiles of police work. Nor the shock of tragedy or the perspectives of the survivors. The haunted.

“What of the hundreds of faceless men on the streets looking for work, trying to pick up the threads of family life, hoping that the dying had made a better Britain, and finding they were lost in it. Faceless men… he thought sometimes, in the dark corners of his mind, that the dead were the lucky ones. They hadn’t been disillusioned.”―Charles Todd, A Long Shadow

The authors describe why this character and the historical setting:

This isn’t long-ago past, it’s our present as well, as fresh as today’s headlines, and it still touches the modern reader nearly 100 years on. The time frame we chose was intentional: to use a setting and a character that was not just an historic figure but one connected with our time.

But to arrive at a real perspective about that other war and its effect on Rutledge, we’ve actually talked to veterans of every war since then, to hear how a man raised in the ethic of Thou Shall Not Kill, deals with the necessity to kill or be killed. These men went through what Rutledge saw and felt and tried to cope with, because fear and courage and the determination to protect your men and survive somehow aren’t the province of any one battlefield, they belong to all of them.

And so does the haunted silence in which so many veterans live, then and now.

Rutledge could have come home from Iraq or Afghanistan — it just happens that he came home from the trenches of France.

-----

Books featuring Inspector Ian Rutledge:
A Test of Wills (1996)
Wings of Fire (1998)
Search the Dark(1999)
Legacy of the Dead (2000)
Watchers of Time (2001)
A Fearsome Doubt (2002)
A Cold Treachery (2005)
A Long Shadow (2006)
A False Mirror (2007)
A Pale Horse (2008)
A Matter of Justice (2009)
The Red Door (2010)
A Lonely Death (2011)
The Confession (2012)
Proof of Guilt (2013)

Another WWI mystery series, featuring Bess Crawford:
A Duty to the Dead (2009)
An Impartial Witness (2010)
A Bitter Truth (2011)
An Unmarked Grave (2012)
A Question of Honor (2013). Available for pre-order. Expected release: 27 August 2013.

Safe and happy

"It begins to dawn on you that your life is also radically changing. This is a care-giving role that nobody applies for. You don’t expect it. You aren't trained for it. And, of course, you won’t be paid for it. You probably won’t even identify yourself as a caregiver. So many women tell me, 'It’s just what we do.'” Gail Sheehy, "Passages in Caregiving"

I've oriented two new aides already this week since dad's requesting additional in-home care now for mom. Mom could really use someone from after breakfast to suppertime every day shadowing her, keeping her steady when she stands suddenly from her chair and she does and to help her with hygiene and any little or big activities.

We want mom to be safe.

It's not right to insist she sit all day, and she's not safe standing on her own. As the doctor who diagnosed her Alzheimer's disease and Lewy Body dementia indicated would happen, she's tending to lose her balance on her feet, list, unless someone's right at her elbow. Her joints and limbs are stiff. Rigidity is much a part of the illnesses, and a very cautious stance and gait. That's come - her spine isn't holding her exactly erect anymore and, while it's due to illness, its seems the perfect precaution for the aging body. Mom's body has changed gradually enough that it's been difficult to pinpoint exactly when she would need full-time aid, but dad's surmised the time has come and has hired help for the longer hours.

The two aides that've been with us for several months are gone. One has moved on to another patient and one unfortunately hurt her back and is out of whack for weeks. She may come back to us when she's back to work, and we'd love that. This cute girl knows her way around my mother like she's her mother, and I'll miss her. The young lady that came Tuesday will do great but is studying to be an surgical assistant actually and will have to leave personal care-giving someday for the (for her) deeply satisfying work of assisting in facial reconstruction for children. She's intentional, and that showed up while she trained here with me for mom. Glad to have her, and I'll be sad when she has to go.

There's turnover I'm learning in this in-home care business. I'd hoped for some one person to become our mother's caregiver that could always, always be here, with whom (in a perfect world; I know, it's a pipedream) mom would bond and who would love and minister constantly. Erm, no. It'll take four women likely to cycle through the six eight-hour days.

And there are no guarantees

...that they'll stay,
...that they'll work out,
...that they'll naturally bond,
...that they'll not be injured,
... or have to quit, or go on long vacations,
...or be focused while at work on their personal lives.

We want mom to be happy.

Though mom already didn't bond particularly with one of our aides; and may not with ones to come. Whoever they all may be through the years. Her diseases cause her anxiety - especially when she's taken around the corner from dad - so she's wary of suggested activities and shadowing. To the point, of personalities - who knows? She doesn't. We all feel entitled to spend our time with who we want to spend our time with.

With her resistance in the form of jumping out of it to having to sit in her chair all the time and desire to spend most of her time with dad and little of it with "help," our aides have the weird job description of just "being there" with no guarantee themselves that what they're providing is really doing the job.

Well... it is if mom doesn't fall down when she jumps up; it is if she can be safe.

And happy most days is a stretch for all of us.

Truly aware

Dad came to the table this morning for breakfast and said the blessing on the food, starting, "Heavenly Father, we come before Thee with thanksgiving in our hearts..." It might be a phrase he's said other times just like that, a regular - and reverent - way to come in prayer, and I'm impressed by it. Especially was I this morning. I'd rather come running into Father's arms like a hurt child saying "Heavenly Father! Take it away!"

Meaning, all dad's going through. With mom. Without mom.

Dad won't let a person nail him down to exactly how he's feeling, not only now but these last about four years with mom's decline. He won't breathe out hard or tear up with emotion; he's not like that. He's a stayer and he stays pretty regular, even if he's had a hard night or a harder day. At breakfast every day we've got dad with hair combed and crisp shirt and happy enough expression helping mom to the table. Seating her. And putting her apron 'round her neck and scooting her in, then helping himself to his own chair and peeling a banana for the two of them.

When he's asked to pray he mentions we come with thanksgiving in our hearts. I'm impressed because that's more than a stayer surely, more than being aware of hard, hard things and toughing them out: it's being truly aware of the good and blessed and miraculous that attends us.

On a ride

I borrowed images from the Internet to show off Butterfield Canyon. It lies west of Salt Lake in the Oquirrh mountains across this big valley from us. Dan's and Amy's house is close enough to the west mountains that it's nothing to drive a bit further west and south beside the very large Kennecott copper mine,



and make a hairpin turn alongside it literally right up out of the desert. This ↑ is how it looks coming down from the canyon actually, so imagine yourself coming right at me up this road. It's where Scott and I drove yesterday. Wish you could have seen it, the road narrowing some as we ascended to



well, not the top but where we could overlook the road and the valley beyond. Way out there I think is Sandy and Draper.



I drove, and as the road narrowed - though all was beautiful - I worried I couldn't turn around to get down the hill again on the same side of the mountain! So I stopped in the middle here and Scott got out and, balancing himself on the cliff edge on the balls of his feet and then on the mountain itself, helped me do like an 8-point turn, back and forth, back and forth, shale crunching beneath my tires. The hill rising steeply behind me and shearing away before me, yikes, and a car coming up behind us that had to wait (and laugh probably). I'm not intrepid but I have guts, and it took those and my son and a heavy foot on the brake to manage that crunchy turn and get myself downhill again.



This pic below is clearly early spring... we're months beyond that now so the foliage in the canyon is dense, shading and cooling the road and the air - which was pristine in the afternoon as Scott and I adventured.



We stopped once and Scott jumped a little creek and for a few minutes explored an area like this ↓ hoping for a path... but where we were there was only the field and sunshine and nowhere far to track to.



If we'd packed a lunch and come to hike the afternoon or traverse the backside of Butterfield Canyon down into Tooele, 't'would've been high adventure!

But we were just going for a ride.

I believe it

O Gather Me The Rose

From The Monthly Review, Vol. 12, by Sir Henry John Newbolt, Charles Hanbury-Williams: The poet William Earnest Henley "draws on a rich store of words, and can make them move at his will, in rhythms which always dance if they do not always sing. He can pour his heart out in an unforgettable strain of love and music and regret. It is the sheer simplicity of his sincerity, always his greatest gift, that works the spell."

Here's a beauty, and Henley's poem too...

O, gather me the rose, the rose,
   While yet in flower we find it,
For summer smiles, but summer goes,
   And winter waits behind it!

For with the dream foregone, foregone,
   The deed forborne for ever,
The worm, regret, will canker on,
   And time will turn him never.

So well it were to love, my love,
   And cheat of any laughter
The death beneath us and above,
   The dark before and after.

The myrtle and the rose, the rose,
   The sunshine and the swallow,
The dream that comes, the wish that goes,
   The memories that follow!
~William Ernest Henley

Important work

I'm at Dan and Amy's house today. Scott's wide awake upstairs playing the piano while I write. It's dark down here, the basement or bottom level of the kids' tri-level; it's dark and the computer is unfamiliar to me - I had to use tricks to get to Blogger and a New Post link for today. Turning on a light down here, well, that would've helped, but even so (so it's done), the keyboard feels wonky under my hands, the Delete key's in the wrong place, and the Internet browser and speed is different from what I use at home. Aw, trifling actually.

Scott's going big at the piano with "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing" by heart. By ear. By Braille. Whatever, it's working. And now onto something Jon Schmidt-ish. Riffs and progressive chords with a few trills, right? He's idling a few minutes until he decides to get in the shower and then eat and then nap. He's in a state.

I'm here to maybe do housework (dishes and laundry), definitely yard work (thinning peaches) and visit and help Scott out while the kids are gone. I'm here the day so while Scott's on the piano this minute I'm on the computer keyboard.

I did thin peaches while Scott mowed the front yard. We both are wondering why a peach tree is going to create two to three times as much fruit in the spring as she can actually bear in late summer without her branches tearing. I've seen this very tree each of the last two Augusts, branches loaded and breaking, or only not as braced by thick boards Dan places beneath them. An unwieldy, gangly scaffolding keeping the fruit high and branches sturdy.

I plucked fuzzy baby peaches clustered in threes and fours and fives along a stem, leaving one or two. I snapped apart medium-weight fruit already tightly bunched, leaving one to thrive, bagged it all and took it to the trash. Afterward I bent to pick up hundreds of all sizes of fruits that've plopped beneath the tree sheared by wind or dropped by Amy, herself thinning early this week; once more to the trash bin with a load, then I plopped beneath the tree in the shade with Scotter who was sprawled there resting.

And we talked. We plucked grassy spears sitting under the fruit and leaves; lolled and shifted in dappled light and breezes this morning that lifted our hair. We don't know about peach trees and why they must have thinning.



Not so much. Why are peaches like they are?



I listened while Scott told me about his mission and his roommate from a few years ago and his good friends that love him and he loves; and he let me say something that made him laugh right out loud, and we get why we are like we are.

It's important work today.

Just lately

Kent reads like crazy and I can hardly keep up with the books he's cycled through this past winter and spring. He started another one recently and I didn't pay attention to what until a few days ago when I commented that the last couple of weeks I've been kind of falling in love with him again. That can happen in marriage. Yeah. That should happen in marriage!

Why, I pondered? Hmm... a lot of my needs are being met by you all of a sudden, I suggested.

He said, well, have I been criticizing lately?

No.

Have you noticed appreciation from me a little more?

Yes.

He smiled. Have I been smiling more?

Yes!

He said he's been practicing the points in the next book he started, and pulled out Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Ha! He read out loud to me ('cause he always does) with one eye on me to see what I think:

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5. Smile.
6. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
9. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

He's trying, is he, to be pleasanter. That's not a word but oh well. Pleasanter, like to the guy at Lowe's who took his order for a ceiling fan and then didn't order the drop rod; didn't get the order for the remote control in the computer promptly, and couldn't very well help him get an installer lined up - that's out there a few days, gee. Kent practiced smiling. He said. Didn't criticize only vented to me later. Attempted to appreciate the customer service even if his appreciation wasn't super sincere. He's practicing, and practicing isn't getting it perfect.

I equate the points above with, like, giving flowers to someone. And'm sad to remember the lyrics you don't bring me flowers anymore... seriously, I'm thinking about what happens in friendship and marriage and customer service when we don't bring each other flowers. Oh well, just a thought.

Here's my Kent lately.

Good advice

Kent said to me today as we looked out the window watching the trusses go on the two houses across the street:

Look at what you do see and not what you can't.



Which sounds kind of weird if you don't know I'm still sulking over losing our view.



Good advice. I'm determined to take it.

Contrast

Near today's date (June 14) 2007, six years ago, my journal entry: Woke at 5:00. Kent got up and came out, opening the blinds. We had French toast for breakfast, read scriptures and prayed, then he left.

I’ve watched the sun come up and make the corn pink early today. I watched birds in the one birdhouse, probably the mom and dad feeding babies, coming and going. The pecan tree canopy is every morning cellophane green, and it was this morning. I’m so grateful for beauty – for light and shade.
-----

Contrast. I say it once in a while out loud, beauty is contrast. Shadow and light. I talk about morning and twilight with sun in the trees, shade and shadow that shift with the breezes in a poem I've written (link) and this time of year oh especially here reminds me so of that. But not only light and its inverse... opposites in nature like fast-moving streams over immovable rock, delicate purple blossoming on prickly thistle, up and up a hill and catapulting down, fluffy clouds in searing heat.

Of a morning I still get up earlier than Kent, and he still opens the blinds first thing when he gets up, the ones I've left for him, as I love to look out the window near me while I write. I've been up for hours ahead of him, gone walking and come home and cooled off and enjoyed silence for a long time before he wakes. I have no corn in my back yard - I barely have a back yard! I have the mountain top in view and do see light gather at it by 5:00 and spill over it near 6:00 each of these already almost summer mornings, pinking the ridges in-between-times. There are birds in our fireplace exhaust mounted like a birdhouse on our stucco two stories up, and they make a racket outside the big window, flitting forth and back during the time Kent and mom and dad and I enjoy breakfast. A small pleasure that will last just a while, birdies coming and going. I have no pecan tree canopy above me here, only the hills around us are this late in the spring still green, for which I'm thankful, thankful every minute! A drive in the canyon would produce for me the "cellophane green" I so love as bright leaves on aspens filter the light. It never fails.

I AM so grateful for beauty. Contrast! I say it once in a while right out loud.

Potatoes and prayers

From "How to Pray With Real Intent" (link) by Ted Gibbons in Meridian Magazine.

"With the resolution to work, we will find our communication with God infused with great power. [There is an] intrinsic bond between works and prayer."

"The day was Sunday, November 30, 1856, and the Salt Lake saints were assembled that morning in the Tabernacle. Brigham Young had just been informed that members of the overdue handcart companies who had suffered so much in the snows of Wyoming were about to arrive. He said,

'The afternoon meeting will be omitted, for I wish the sisters to go home and prepare to give those who have just arrived a mouthful of something to eat, and to wash them and nurse them up. You know that I would give more for a dish of pudding and milk, or a baked potato and salt, were I in the position of those persons who have just come in, than I would for all your prayers, though you were to stay here all the afternoon and pray. Prayer is good, but when baked potatoes and pudding and milk are needed, prayer will not supply their place...'" (Reported in the Salt LakeDeseret News, December 10, 1856, p. 320.)

Potatoes are now an object lesson. When I look at one now - even take several out of the pantry to peel for dinner like I do pretty often - I'm reminded, works, Natalie! Be there! It's what the Lord expects alongside your prayers.

Uh-hem... Amen.

Life's Little Instruction Book

The author of Life's Little Instruction Book, H. Jackson Brown, Jr., affirms:

We know we should be more understanding and thoughtful, more responsible, courageous and appreciative. It's just that we sometimes need reminding. "Life's Little Instruction Book is that reminder for a relative or a friend who needs encouragement.

(Me.)



He says the observations are direct, simple, and as practical as an umbrella.

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day.
Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
Think big thoughts, but relish small pleasures.
Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks softly.
Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.

Wow, I love that one. ↑

Be kinder than necessary.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Commit yourself to constant self-improvement.
Don't major in minor things.
Never cut what can be untied.

I love little things everywhere that inspire and encourage me! I need these...I actually look for life's little instructions around me where I go, and today I'm glad to find these.

Getting along

With the aid of her aide, Mom gets outside every day to walk. Ann comes on Saturdays. Stella or Jodie takes her the other five days of the week.

We love these warm bright afternoons, and though mom may wonder at first why she's gotta change her shoes and often put on her visor and certainly move her muscles, once she's up and moving she's content, even happy. She's getting along.

On your way!

“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” 
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

I grabbed a picture from FB of my dear friends Sandra and Brent Hale, 'cause they got their mission call! Whoo-hoo!

“Things may happen and often do to people as brainy and footsy as you!” 



Sandra posted a picture of their letter in the mailbox earlier in the day yesterday (goofy-head!), and waiting to be opened... agghhh!

Five and a half weeks of waiting... it's finally here!

she posted.

Must. Overcome. Urge. To. Tear. It. Open. 

Then the news: You are hereby called to serve as missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Scotland/Ireland Mission. Your primary assignment is to labor as a member and leader support missionary. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 23 months.

"I'm overcome— " wrote my friend. They leave August 5th. That's close already! I'm excited and nervous and a little overcome for them.

“So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!” 
― Dr. Seuss

Back

Last year on this date Jen and I flew here from Dallas after spending the day before cleaning out her apartment and the night at Karen's (my sister-in-law's). What a night! What a day that followed, a messy day for flying (link) ... but we got here, home, at last. I mentally relived all that yesterday, remembering the final push (link) to clean and sort Jen's apartment Jenny at last done with school, and home to help, the crush of packing the car and running the last errands in the afternoon in a heavy, thundering rain after a scorching afternoon saying goodbye to Jen's life in Texas...

I remember it like it was yesterday, and all the days that followed after getting home, prior to Jen's and Robert's wedding.

It's stunning that a year has gone by.

Six months ago this week - December - Kent and I rocked into motion getting mom and dad moved in with us. They were to come on the twelfth so with Christmas just about two weeks away we all got into gear to make it happen. I knew while it was happening the events would be a blur later... and they are.

It's crazy how you shift your body and mind to keep going when you're swamped. Gear up or slog on... you keep in motion, I was going to say "like normal" but no, not like that. You work harder, breathe deeper. And notice your strength of will and progress or the strength of whoever carries you if need be, thankfully, often when you look back.

Savin' the Frosted Mini-Wheats crumbs

Yes I am.

I and two other ladies on the world wide web have Googled are there recipes that use frosted mini wheat crumbs? 'Cause I don't want to be throwing out that great fiber (albeit sugary) at the bottom of the cereal box. And I got my answer. There are!

Probably more than two recipes, erm, if I'll hunt and peck... but this, for instance.

FROSTED MINI-WHEATS CRUMBS CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

1 1/3 cup Frosted Mini-Wheats crumbs
8 Tbsp. butter
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs
2 tsps. vanilla extract

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/3 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Heat oven to 350 degree F.

Toast the cereal if desired. Place cereal crumbs in a blender and process to a fine flour.

Cream butter, shortening, sugars, eggs and vanilla. 

Sift in flour, Mini-Wheats flour, salt, baking soda and baking powder. Combine well.

Mix in chocolate chips.

Drop by rounded tablespoon onto a lightly greased cookie sheet and bake 9 to 10 minutes.

adapted from butteryum.blogspot.com
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And this.

MAPLE COFFEE CAKE MUFFINS

1 1/2 cups Mini-Wheats Frosted Maple & Brown Sugar (crushed to 3/4 cup) (divided)
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, divided
3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar, divided
1 tablespoon butter or margarine
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup low-fat buttermilk
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1. In small bowl combine 1/4 cup of the KELLOGG'S MINI WHEATS FROSTED MAPLE & BROWN SUGAR cereal, 1/4 cup of the flour and 1/4 cup of the brown sugar. Cut in butter until crumbly. Set aside.

2. In a small bowl stir together remaining flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Set aside.

3. In a large bowl combine remaining cereal and buttermilk. Let stand about 5 minutes or until cereal softens. Add egg, oil and remaining brown sugar. Beat well. Add flour mixture, stirring until just combined. Portion half of the batter evenly into twelve 2 1/2-inch muffin-pan cups coated with cooking spray or lined with foil bake cups. Sprinkle with half of the cereal mixture. Portion remaining batter on top of cereal mixture in muffin-pan cups. Sprinkle with remaining cereal mixture.

4. Bake at 400°F about 15 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in muffin pan for 5 minutes. Remove from pan. Serve warm. Servings: 12

Kellogg’s
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Dying to try these! Mom really likes cookies, likes 'em better than cake which I always have around. Dad likes cake, rather. Mom says after lunch normally got any cookies? I made molasses cookies (ginger snaps) yesterday and had a Ziploc bag-full available for after lunch today. She's happy! I'll try the Mini-Wheats crumbs chocolate chip cookies tomorrow. They should be a little bit crunchy and I'll like that; even the cookie dough, mm, which is great to munch. Yeah, I'm telling on myself.

Happy boy

I turned and caught in a close-up yesterday afternoon the longish eyelashes and bright cheeks and mouth of three year-old Russell, my niece's son. We were at Red Butte gardens and Russ was looking for something special.



He and his mom Shana walk across the pier watching for



ducks! And surprise... babies!



Into the water Russ wants to go with them,



so he does, kind of.



Happy ducks,



happy boy.