Happy today because

I am happy today because

...it's auburn vs. ole miss this afternoon

...we drove home from idaho under beautiful dark rain clouds

...there's tootsie rolls (i love 'em) in the halloween candy at our house

...i got to see sugar beets harvested in the field yesterday

...i walked four miles this morning

...i got to read part of the book kent's brother is writing, wow

...i'm surrounded by good things

Late night

Kent left home for the Groome shuttle and then on it to the airport by early afternoon, actually getting to the Atlanta airport about 4:00 p.m. His SL flight was scheduled to leave at 7:00, so he knew he'd board about 6:30. He was early. Because of bad, bad weather the flight was delayed an hour. He called and told me, and I felt bad for him because he'd been at the airport so long waiting . . .



then called with another hour delay and even a gate change I think. The time must have dragged; he admitted he was tired but keeping his cool. Talking to folks around him and fielding comments about Auburn football and Cam Newton (because he almost always wears an Auburn logo shirt when he flies). Changing gates a couple of more times.

About the time I was sure he had boarded finally and the plane must be taxiing with only the two hour delay, he called again. Grr, no pilot this time. Planes were log-jammed, some not being able to land and others not unloading (crew or passengers), grounded until weather cleared. There had to be a bunch of unhappy people I decided, the "dang public" we called it again last night, with so many stranded and packed into the place like sardines - and Kent agreed. No pilot, and only half the attendants needed. An hour and a half passed and Kent said later that passengers erupted into an ovation for the last attendant who walked into the gate area for the plane.

All in all five and a half hours passed before they could board and start their four-hour nonstop flight.



Kent had been calling me to update me and I watched the online flight status, getting more and more droopy on my end - it wasn't all that late even when he left out of Atlanta, but I was getting dozy. I went to sleep at 10:30 with my alarm set for 1:45 a.m.

At 2:00 a.m. I drove from mom and dad's and waited in the airport for Kent's plane to come down. An hour later he got into the car with his baggage and we drove home. It was close to 4:00 when he got to bed, 6:00 in the morning Georgia time.
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We drove today to Idaho and almost didn't, we are both so tired. This morning we've simply putzed around visiting with my mom and dad and going once to the grocery store leisurely. Enjoyed a big lunch of left overs and kind of lay back, digesting. Thankfully we've had an easy drive to Idaho this afternoon but Kent is Froot Loops, he's so tired. An early night it will be for us at his folks' home - including his mom and dad and Aunt Beth, mom's sister, who are each like us ready to crash. Old folks - is that us?

Frosty Fall Day

It snowed overnight and I woke to a white neighborhood on this mountain. You can see from mom's kitchen window the headlights and taillights of traffic on I-15 to the west of us, virtually a river of light. With lowering clouds and white rooftops around and below us, the lights are a feature, the absolute focus of my view from the window today. It's not winter yet so we're not in the deep freeze, it's just a little frosty now and a big change from several days of  breathtaking color. Sandra had to go away from it last week to the east coast - funny, I flew here, she flew there - and she said to me as she was packing to go I hate leaving Utah in October! I get the picture, Sandra.

Mt. Timpanogos, Trevor Alcott photographer

Icy leaves, West Bountiful, Utah, Amber Broderick photographer

Feelin' happy tonight

End of a long day. Got up so early this morning, so early and read and prayed and cleaned my room and bathroom so the the girl that cleans for mom and dad
(Irisz Agnocs, illustrator)
could come. Breakfast, and then I worked a while putting together a lot of  mom's recipes into plastic protector sheets in a binder. Sorting and throwing out papers and consolidating. It was pretty fun.

Pretty soon I picked up Shayla's choir dress, a formal too long for her, and hemmed it, finding (so happily) matching thread in mom's sewing collection and a needle. That's a good thing! My happies grew.  I rested after lunch and also read library books: Still "Cry, the Beloved Country" and recently "The Secret." Laura came over after teaching school and picked up Shay's dress, and we gabbed and hugged and laughed but she was so pooped she had to go right home. She was up at 4:00 a.m. to go to the hospital with her grandson for surgery. Everything's fine, but Laura's used up. Long day for her.

I talked to Sarah about "Cry" and it was short and sweet and we agree it's one of the best books we've read. I'm still coming through it and recommend it to anyone. Beautifully, marvelously written. Powerful! "The Secret" is full of good thoughts and ideas and I'm thinking about these every day now - each chapter is better than the last. The law of attraction; like attracts like.

Scott and I went to see "Secretariat" tonight and being with him and being at the movie theater made me happy. There might have been six of us there - we had it to ourselves. It was hailing lightly on us as we came out - I thought the thunder I was hearing was not in that movie. Then guess what - dinner at home - pork chops I've had in the crock pot all day were waiting for me, warm still. With white rice and green beans, mm. A hot dinner when you're hungry is a good thing.

I watched "Inherit the Wind" (Spencer Tracy) with the parents while I ate. There is a lot of debating in it, at least the part I came in on  . . . so I went to the living room to call Kent and felt happier in there talking to him. Kent says Regina got some ears of corn from him this afternoon. Whoohoo! Thrilled you'll enjoy it while Kent's gone - it wouldn't have lasted on the stalks. Regina, eat some peas too, k?

Kent'll be here tomorrow. I miss him and am looking forward to us going to Idaho for his dad's 95th birthday. Some of his brothers and sisters will be there, and maybe Aunt Beth. Don't know where we'll sleep!

I'm feeling happy tonight, and grateful for my blessings. I was happy to be safe driving home and welcomed by mom and dad when I walked in tonight. Pleased to do a few little chores today. So happy with our good dinner! Glad to hang out with Scott again - he's a love and takes good care of me. Thrilled to find Kent in a great mood and talkative. I'm thoughtful about my wonderful library books and besides, the chapters in The Acts we're reading and the movie "Secretariat," each holding up (in parallel realities) aspects for me to notice of both human nature and godliness. It awes me.

And now to fall into my good bed here in a minute and sleep . . . soooo happy!

The party last night

So Emily came last night to the birthday party . . .



and two of her kids. And Chris and Whitney and the baby . . .



and Adrienne and Scott . . .



and Shana and Justin and their baby boy . . .



(dude in the blue)


and Synthia (Laura's) and Scott (mine), the young singles who each came pretty late and huddled, talking, around warmed plates of food this is Synth at Grandpa's yesterday in fact and I didn't grab a picture of Scott, shucks . . .



. . .and Dan and Amy and their two boys (downstairs racing around).



Of course there was mom and dad and Laura and Sharm at whose house it was, and me - and who am I forgetting . . . ? Oh yeah, Skylar and Stan (Laura's) showed up as I was dishing up dessert and ate colossal great bowls of ice cream, then disappeared. And Sam and Shay (Laura's) were around pretty much all smiles and chit chat.

Dinner was awesome, and we loved sharing a few memories of Grandpa with each other after. Some were serious, like Dan who went first and told his memory of Grandpa being at our house in Cincinnati to help us move to Utah in 1996 like out of the blue; and Laura who told about hating living in Chile at first when they moved there in 1975 until dad gave her a few lines of poetry to think about that changed her mind and attitude. A few were funny - Emily's for instance: Dad's advice to her when she turned 16 years ago, which I dare not repeat other than the bit about keeping the shower curtain inside the tub when she showers (silly). . . and dad's own story about growing old, citing a gentleman who was losing his sight and was asked what he missed most.

Golf, the man replied.

Well, the story goes, there's another gentleman who's coming along in age and has his difficulties but he can see and loves to play golf - what about you two getting together on the golf course?

It was agreed and the first gentleman, nearly blind, teed up and hit the ball, then turned to his companion and said did you see that?

I saw it, said the man.

Did you see where it went? he asked.

I did, replied the companion.

Where? Where! exclaimed the first man.

I forgot, said his friend.

How can you help but love your dad and grandpa when he's that broadminded about having yet another birthday. And then he took time to talk to us all tenderly about mom and about them both coming along in years together and what it means to have her for his wife (and she patted his hand) and how he hopes we will all be patient with them.   Because he is, in fact . . .

Birthday day

Today is dad's birthday.

He and mom got back from doctors appointments around 11:30 and met Scott and me at Chuck-A-Rama for birthday lunch. It's cold and blowy today, and good to be wrapped in cozy clothes and the atmosphere of a celebration lunch. Dad seems in great spirits. I had the especially crunchy and gooey Rice Krispie treats for dessert. Ran Scott to work then got home and mom and I sang Happy Birthday to Dad as we walked up the stairs together with bags of goodies. Mom gave him a darling card about him being the smoochiest... and Farkle! He laughed.

We sat and watched Master and Commander of the Far Side of the Earth, another Russell Crowe show, which got paused a few times for birthday telephone calls and a visitor - Scott again. He was making deliveries going north and stopped by to pick up his bag he accidentally left in the car with me earlier and, lucky him, got from dad an electric shaver dad never uses. Scott's shaver broke, so that's a good deal. And he walked out with Halloween munchies that have been sitting around besides. Mind you, I'm not munching nor is anyone else particularly that I can notice... just...  the level of goodies keeps going down in the bowl!

We're on our way to Laura's in a few minutes for dad's birthday dinner to which the kids and grandkids and greats that are in town are all invited. I love our family get-togethers - they're pretty noisy and Laura makes great food. We're bringing the cake and ice cream.

Cold front

My goodness there was a to-do at 1:30 this morning at our house. Well, on our mountain. Thunderstorm! BIG lightening! But that wasn't what woke me up. It was rain on the window, maybe ice pellets even, and the wind.



I lay in bed (under the fan of course) and shivered. You know that good-bad feeling of a thunderstorm right in your bedroom almost.

The wind started blowing hard in the afternoon yesterday. Dad and mom's dumpsters go out on the curb Sunday nights for a very early pickup Monday morning; when I drove home from Scott's and into the driveway about 5:00 I asked dad if he wanted me to leave the garage door up and put the trash out. He said sure, and I added that the wind was blowing so hard it would blow them over certainly. "Put them out," he said. I stood still and told him again they would be blown over. "Let's get them out there," he answered. I began pulling the first one from the back of the garage down between the two cars to the driveway. He came to the door to watch me and as I emerged into the driveway and looked up and down the street I saw that the neighbors' cans were every single one blown over. I stopped and (getting a pummeling from the next wind blast) shouted, "Every trash can on this street is on it's side, dad." (They were, and I could just see dad's with them next, and eventually tied bags of trash all over the street). Dad was surprised and said well bring it back. And now he's got to be up in just a few minutes to get the cans to the curb before the trash truck comes. I may beat him to it.

I go upstairs in a minute to put the trash out and get breakfast and watch a little weather news. I could look right out the window to see if things are frozen solid, but it's black still. Too early. Hopefully the cold front over us that'll be bringing snow today even to the valleys (or maybe already has!) isn't icy. Blick and sigh . . . I want to go shopping later and the Fit's dicy on ice. A minor inconvenience, right? And I have no coat. :)

Children

Friday afternoon I spent with Dan and Amy and the boys. Amy cooked breakfast for dinner! Before that she and the boys and I walked to the lake, really the stream that flows under the road a few blocks from their apartment where the boys and I are used to going to throw rocks into the water. But they call it the lake. Every trip I make to see them we walk hand in hand from the apartment to this intersection. This time we gathered a few rocks on the way. We stand at the concrete wall and see who can make the loudest noises with our rocks  going over the edge and who can throw the very farthest.



On the walk home I grabbed a couple of pictures of Joe balancing on a high curb. He's very confident these day. You should hear him read too, and see how he does his computer games.



Dan gathered the boys in his lap after dinner for scripture reading while Amy did dinner dishes. I lounged on the couch, and after Joseph read five or six verses from the Book of Mormon he curled up with me and listened to Dan help Andrew "read" - who of course can't read but does great mimicking his dad's words from the book. Each of the boys had a turn to pray, Andrew over dinner and Joseph at bedtime for the family, and these are tender and heartfelt.

We adults stayed up late just gabbing, then I came home to my bedroom at mom and dad's. I gave to Amy for her birthday recently a necklace that says I love you to the moon and back, and surely I do and l love these little boys and I love their dad. It's fun being with them!
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 Sunday - The Primary in mom and dad's ward put on their Sacrament meeting presentation today. We sat right behind a young family with five kids, four of them boys, the littlest whom I couldn't resist making eyes at over his mother's shoulder before the meeting started. He was holding a meeting bulletin which had Christ on the cover and when I leaned close and pointed and asked who's this? he laughed and said his name. Jesus. He's darling and makes me wish I had my own five around me as little ones. I watched this mother watch her other four on the stand,  and kind of coax the next youngest, maybe four, to stand and sit and sing and smile.

Each child in the program said their part wonderfully - you know how that goes: some stand up with kind of googly eyes because they're timid all of a sudden or frightened half to death or excited and some back right up and almost off the pulpit and get to be helped by the teacher, and some stand there mute, and some lean wayyyy into the microphone and announce their part perfectly. Each did very well in the end. I poked mom a time or two as we both giggled - you've gotta love these little faces and bodies - and remembered this once-a-year feeling as I sat in a meeting strange to me, but so, yes so familiar.

The young mother in front of us stood at one point and walked to the pulpit to sing a duet with her daughter, the oldest and a great little soprano. Because the song is so tender, A Child's Prayer, she cried her eyes out on her part and could hardly sing, and then even in the duet part the little girl had to finish alone. As they sang the last note, the mom's tears dripping, the daughter whispered (into the mike accidentally), "It's okay, mom." She walked back to her pew in front of us and the program went on and her husband put his arm around her and they sat with that baby boy on their lap and watched and listened.

I appreciated so many little things in church today. And of course the big things, the reason we come: to worship and renew our commitments to the Lord and feel a full measure of his love for each of us, old and young, his children.

Auburn win and a rainbow

We've had a quiet enough morning; actually dad and mom and I went for a drive in the cloudy, rainy weather to see the colors - stunning against the blues and grays of stormy skies. About 11:30 friends met us to take us to lunch for dad's birthday. I treat rib-eye steak with awe and wonder when I'm served it, especially when it's cooked to perfection. Salad and applesauce came with it and it would have been the perfect meal but for the double Blossom that was ordered beforehand and some put on a little plate with sauce for my appetizer before I could squeak out, "uh, no..." I really enjoyed that, along with bread and cinnamon butter - good eats this day.

Auburn football was all afternoon basically and we each planted ourselves in front of the tv for the duration. Auburn won! Kent called me no less than four times during the game, and I imagined him any number of times pacing and whooping in front of our tv over yardage gained and touchdowns and great defence. Gotta love it. Mom and dad did, which surprises me! Maybe they were just being good to me - I certainly yelled loud enough once to set the doorbell ringing here and get a look from mom. Dad laughed.

Mom found water standing in the cupboard under the kitchen sink after supper - oh-oh - an icky mess and a low spot in our day; we got it cleaned up and the leak fixed and not too soon for her. Just now she came to kiss me goodnight in her flannel jammies (they're adorable) and while I watch the Oklahoma-Missouri game who's outcome will affect Auburn's standing in the BCS poll I hear Dad finishing up upstairs and getting lights off.

I saw a rainbow late this afternoon over the mountains and it took my breath away.

A few of my favorite things

Yesterday
1. Smith's Market Place. Mom found two sweaters she was hoping to find there then guided me around to pick up produce and groceries. It's like a little city; you need GPS in there!

2. Cherry oatmeal cookies. Made these before lunch. The house smells like cinnamon.

3. Atlantis Burger burgers.

4. How to Train your Dragon. We watched it after lunch.

5. My sister Laura. We hiked in Holbrook Canyon several hours. Coming down we took turns saying what we're thankful for.



6. Autumn Harvest soup. Mom cooked, then she and dad waited dinner for us. Buttered rye bread sopped in beefy tomato vegetable soup was perfect.

7. Playing Farkle. (see post below)

8. A bath, saying goodnight to Kent on the phone, reading scriptures and prayers, and bed!

Fun and games

I got mom and dad to play Farkle with Laura and me last night. You should have seen them each shake their heads "no" when I first suggested it. Well, begged. And clench their teeth and roll their eyes. Mom especially is NOT a game player. I went downstairs for the dice and scoresheet and they cleared a spot on the dinner table. It was a trade-off: They would play one game, first-to-5000, and me and Laura would hunker down with them after that and watch Donovan's Reef, John Wayne and Lee Marvin.

We got going.



Mom got on the board first. You have to have 500 points to do that, and we cheered. After Dad rolled enough to get on the board, every turn he would count and think and decide - risk, or don't risk. Roll or don't roll. He lined his dice up after each roll and cal-kee-lated. Laura and I looked at each other said, boy Dad plays it safe. He did. (He'd take 250, even, but little by little can win the race . . . ) Which I mostly do too playing Farkle; only Michael H. risks and rolls and rolls and rolls and Farkles a dozen times and makes us laugh and then like a tsunami rolls over us in the end. It was insightful, our dad, at this silly game. Laura hadn't played Farkle before and kept thinking you accumulate points (like for three of a kind or three pair, etc.) roll by roll, and you don't. What you roll is what you get. She was lagging, but started coming on. Mom held her ground and I held up the rear.

And the clear winner? (Oops, Laura I left your score off; think it was 3700!)



The Mama!



She was very happy.

I was too.

A quote I like from Robin Hood 2010

I said mom and dad and I watched Robin Hood (2010) yesterday. Robin Longstride (the Robin eventually to be outlawed to the hood) speaks to arrogant King John and many surrounding him, barons and countrymen, saying that every man, woman and child in England had the right of freedom under the law. King John laughs at Robin’s request and says loudly, “If you would listen to this man you would give every man in England a castle.”

Robin says, “Every Englishman’s home is his castle.”



Then there was something along this line to King John:  "When you empower us, you will be strengthened."

The king thinks about it and consents to a charter - a point to remember at the end of the show - then the movie takes off with, as I said in my last post, a lot of archery!

I got chillbumps hearing that last line because, though in context of the story (1199) it becomes a rallying point for saving all England and offering the king his due, it is symbolic in my mind of universal and heavenly law - of God in relationship to us his children. As Father empowers man with light and knowledge and agency to choose, and then we make our homes on earth a little bit of heaven,



He is glorified.

Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself. (2 Ne 2.:27)

How wonderful and magnificent is our Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ who rules and loves us all not on a whim or arbitrarily such as earthy kings have done and will, but with a decreed plan for happiness that magnifies us and glorifies them.

Feels like home

Smooth sailing in on the plane. Four hours of HGTV, no kidding, on Satellite Delta. I slept in front of a bunch of it but I sure know lots about how to stage a house now! Off to lunch with mom and dad and Scott (his day off), then home to veg in recliners in front of the Russell Crow/Kate Cate (oops, 'scuse me) Blanchett Robin Hood movie. Dark and scary and I snoozed some more in the middle. There was a lot of archery. Mom made red Jello with fruit cocktail and has just shown me how to prepare sticky rice for the rice cooker. I have one just like hers at home, so I begged to know her rice methods. She measured water into the pot of rinsed rice, cup for cup and then some - looking up from the sink at me with a twinkle - so fun to see her grin. It'll be wow supper.

I'm thankful. Jen's singles' conference this past weekend had a workshop speaker who issued the young adults a challenge to pray continually with thankfulness instead of requests. No asking for anything - for thirty days. Try it, he said. I am, and feel happy with the results after three days only.

You-know-who who got cookies mailed to her received them today in the mail. Yippee! Another reason to be happy. There are Seven Layer Bars in that package and Scotcheroos. Plus Cherry Oatmeal,

a Martha Stewart recipe, nubby with oats and dark with brown sugar and cinnamon. I'm going to make them here for mom and dad, they both like the idea, but maybe with Craisins. It's what mom's got in the cupboard. Pray she has cinnamon. I'll be sooo thankful if she does.

Gotta' fly

So I'm on the plane. If you're reading this early in the morning, I'm on the plane. If it's already noon or after where you are, well I've arrived.

Yesterday I ticked off things on my to do list systematically, including an e-mail to Regina asking her to please take my fern which needs water every three to four days (it's a baby, really) and perishables. Kent won't have a clue what to do with them  - celery? - while he's here alone or when he gets ready to leave to come. Regina's a great cook and I have no doubt will use them up. I have a full suitcase but I've left home lighter than other times. I always wish when I'm in Utah I had things like my own hairspray, so I did pack two half-full cans that need using up so I won't be shopping for it on a weird hair day or using up mom's. It's a consolation. For mom - she likes to put her hand on her own can of hairspray in her own bathroom to keep up her curl.

I've told myself this trip how well I'm going to be dealing with traveling today. I'm such a grump about it other times and consider sheepishly that I don't have HALF the distance to cover (ground and air combined) or time that Sarah has when she leaves home for the mainland, or Marcia has coming home from Down Under. These women, my sisters, are whizzes in every single way imaginable but they can't and don't change the clock, like I can't. Can't make their trips fast or faster, and like me are subject to the long hours and all kinds of time zone weirdness on travel days. I haven't heard a peep from either of them about getting around. Not in months or years. Think about it! (I try not to.) I'm not peeping this time either.

While you're looking at this my carry-on is stowed or with any luck in the seat next to me, and I have my neck pillow around my head and may be watching a little HGTV.  I'll have had breakfast - a Luna Bar, so good - and will not be worrying or restless. Or checking my watch.

Much.

Odds and ends from yesterday

1. Kent started it at breakfast. Looking at the ingredients in Kroger-brand Blueberry Almond Crisp, he wondered out loud why they took natural blueberry juice and put it in a concoction of things artificial to create "wild blueberries." Only Kent; but he did have me laughing my head off at images we were conjuring up of wringing out good blueberries to make faux. Why not just have regular berries in your cereal Kroger?

2. Night before last I baked cookies. Packaged up a bunch around noon to send to one of my children; you know who you are...

3. Day in and day out lately though the weather is pretty I'm clogged up or teary-eyed with allergies.  I carry tissue with me everywhere; yesterday morning I was wretched. But it got better by afternoon - just, my throat is choky and and that worries me . . . and my rattle is still there. I'm going outside of course walking under these million trees around here and, heavens yes, the tea olive near my front porch smells divine. I bury my face in the leaves and tiny blossoms and inhale and probably shouldn't.

4. Kent is pleased with Auburn's win Saturday night against Arkansas. He showed me when he got home from work this article on espn.com (link) - chair to chair, cheek to cheek, we sat while he read it to me - Plain and Simple: The race belongs to Newton. Speaking of the Heisman of course. I enjoy how much he enjoys Auburn football.

5. "I wonder if my fence is high enough," Kent said at dinner. I gazed across the back yard at the wood fence. Thought about it and said, "What's trying to get over it?" He snickered. "The peas," and I looked at where he pointed rather to the garden where our pea plants are almost above the wire fence Kent puts up for them in spring (and now this autumn), vines and flowers straggling over. Uh, yeah.

6. I got my big suitcase out and left it near the bed all afternoon, empty. Got home from visiting a church member with Kent last night and there it was in the lamplight, and I didn't want to see it. But today it'll get ready to go. Takes a little thought to pack and a lot of energy. Maybe the other way around. Another plane day coming. Don't want to forget to put in the Farkle dice.

7. Read through Acts 7 again after dinner, the martyrdom of Stephen. I'd forgotten before today this chapter is him reciting the history of Israel to certain of the synagogue disputing with Stephen after they had stirred up the people and the elders, and the scribes. Before they become maddened while he preached Christ Jesus, of whom ye have been now the betrayers and murderers, and dashed upon him finally and brought him to be stoned. I learned when I taught The Acts of the Apostles in Seminary that these fully harked back to the Law recorded in Deuteronomy: death by stoning for one found serving other gods at the mouth of two witnesses, or three. It was illegal though what they did - at this time only Pontius Pilate the Roman procurator could permit the death penalty for any of his citizens in Jewry, and Pilate knew nothing of this meeting. I'm stunned at Stephen's zeal and courage.



I re-read the chapter also because here you first read about Saul, later Paul the Apostle, at whose feet the witnesses lay their clothes before the stoning. Paul, telling his conversion (Acts 22), says: And when the blood of thy martyr Stephen was shed, I also was standing by, and consenting unto his death, and kept the raiment of them that slew him. Paul was later no less zealous than Stephen in proclaiming Jesus the very Christ, the Messiah, the divine Son of God. I'm grateful for the Bible so I can read and re-read the conversion, courage, and commitment of these men. I'm stunned at their sacrifices.

8. Jenny called before I went to bed and shared with me things she learned at a singles conference she went to Saturday and a fireside Sunday night. I want to do the things she told me! Like educating the desires I bring to the Lord, and trying to align these with his desires for me. She listed things to do and ways to practice it, and I'm awed.

Happy today because

I am happy today because

...i read a beautiful poem on nest building

...i bought red and gold pillows to go on my bed

...the josh groban album illuminations comes out nov. 15

...it's almost time for the sweet corn out of the garden, yum!

...i learned two new yoga poses

...i reorganized my spice cupboard

...i got my flu shot

The real me

I listened last week to Michael Wilcox's talk on the writings of C.S. Lewis, the part from "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" where Eustace, a selfish boy, has turned into a dragon through his own greed. He cannot escape the dragon's cave and is miserable. Of course Aslan the Great Lion comes, invites him into a pool of clear water and gets Eustace to see he must "undress" before he steps in. Eustace does so, picking his dragon skin off (aha!) gingerly. But whoa, there is a skin under that, and it has to come off too, then a third, and so Eustace despairs until he submits to Aslan taking it off:

Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke - 'You will have to let me undress you.' I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know - if you've ever picked the scab off a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.

Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off - just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there I was smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on - and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm.

Well. This has application.

I thought about it earlier today when I scratched my elbow where it's rough and a little scaly. How gently I care for my own dragon skin.

How it must hurt (if Eustace is to be thought of here) to let Christ take off my worldliness. And not only. My willfulness and self-ishness. Do I just scratch at that from time to time? The process is that I give it to Him and He will take it from me - and clean me up in the process. How is it then to feel that new and tender? And the pain...

I keep realizing how much I don't know; and worse, how much I don't know I don't know. When it dawns on me from time to time (life is sure helping me out with that) I'm awed. For these reasons, pain and not knowing, it seems simpler then to just learn Christ's commandments and keep them through and through so there's not so much cleaning up to do.

Oh for joy these few words from the song "The Real Me" by Natalie Grant:

But You see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within . . .
Unveil me completely.
I'm loosening my grasp,
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause You see the real me.

Wonderful, beautiful is what You see
When You look at me.

Not a walk in the park

I've been loving walking in the mornings. Some mornings are with Regina, early like usual, and then I see the stars. Regina's quick to name them for me and turns me around and points to where they are. It's part of us choosing to be out in the black night - walk, talk, name the stars. We hear spooky noises sometimes - owls we're sure; and trees and houses and shrubberies go all black at the edge of our sight. We walk on the yellow line in the middle of the road, listening for cars. Well, trucks. That's what's coming at us out of driveways and side streets apparently on their way to work. We scramble to the shoulder as they approach and pass. We're in shadow the whole way but for an occasional porch light. When I see the one stop sign ahead I always breathe easy because it's under a wide street light. (But by then we're around the corner from the two hills where we get our heart rates up and breathing is not easy.)

When I go walking at mid-morning of course I'm seeing the same things; the yellow line in the road I follow, the houses, shrubs and trees, but cast in such light (lately) it's breathtaking. There's a slant to the sunshine at 9:00 or so that I like. Different from high noon when it's so in your face you have to squint. Different in October from April for sure . . . it puts the leaves of dogwood, Bradford pear, red-bud and the tallest hardwoods, just now beginning to turn, to a shimmer of gold-red that's almost heavenly. I miss the night noises during these walks, and do get WAY more noisy traffic on my tail, again mostly trucks. Angela and I walking together the other morning rested near a driveway near the top of the one hill and watched a school bus

come at us from below. Down the road we had just come down, and then up the other side we had just climbed up huffing and puffing it came. (Us huffing and puffing remember.) It slowed with a brake noise and exhaust right beside us, at us, and the driver spoke from inside the little window, "Can I help you ladies?"

(I'm confused.)

"Nossir," I said, "we're just hangin'." (WAY WAY good it's 10:00 a.m. in broad, seriously startling daylight. And there's two of us. This is weird.)

"Could ya'll hang about three feet that way (he hooked his thumb toward the back of the bus) so I can turn into my driveway?" This, soft-spoken and polite and now funny.

(Gee whiz.)

"Yessir," I said sure enough, "though we're heading that way." And  pointed uphill, and then moved it.

I don't generally - in fact never, ever - have conversations with oncoming traffic like that. I just get out of the way. I did that the other morning in the dark: Regina and I moved straight off onto the grass when we heard a truck behind us. Like always, she's in front and I'm right behind step for step. We know our way in the dark, even off-road. I veer to the right again as the truck passes and whoooosh! down into the ditch I go, (so much for knowing my way in the dark; I'm doing it by Braille) right on my feet. I took the skin off my left shin and muddied my pants but landed on my feet right up to my waist in weeds and ditch bank and trash. Regina about had a heart attack. The diesel was past in fumes and she was frantic. I felt bad. I was lucky and kind of laughing, and told her; so we got out of there.

Getting out of the way is only the courteous thing in the dark, right? Who's expecting two little old ladies in the road at 5:30? Or later, in sunrise, two trying to cross the main road into the subdivision? Only careful drivers. So we be the careful walkers and know our way around many a neighbor's mailbox and ditchbank. I do love these morning adventures.

Go team

The seventh-ranked Tigers will put their 6-0 record on the line when they face No. 12 Arkansas in a Southeastern Conference football game at Auburn, Ala. . . .  yeah, hype about the game coming up this weekend. Kent's on cloud nine as we approach another football Saturday. Auburn is ranked 7th in the Associated Press poll (makes my husband happy) and Cam Newton our QB is 4th on the Heisman Trophy watch! He wasn't slated at the beginning of the year but here six weeks into the season is all good. There are a few giant quarterbacks in college football this year over 6 feet 5 inches all, solid, accurate and powerful - and we love watching our very own, 6-6, 250 pounds. Especially when he runs. The first down is virtually a given when Cam takes off with the ball. He stiff-arms the nearest couple of guys throwing them off to the side, and mows down tacklers in front. When they gang up on him finally I think the coaches'd prefer he slide rather than lower his shoulder or butt helmets!

Cam's up against another tall strong quarterback with the Razorbacks - Ryan Mallett. Don't know his stats or his game really, that's Kent's thing - it'll be interesting. Arkansas's tough. Well Auburn's tough, too. Don't want to play like girls this week. War Eagle!

Remembering Granddad

Granddad died October 13th last year. It wasn't sudden, he'd been ill a handful of years before 2009, and I think all of us in the family wondered each of these years if it wouldn't be his last. Granddad is Marc's dad. Because Marc and I divorced I should be divorced from his family, but I feel like they're mine and I'm theirs still. Susan, Marc's niece, commented on my blog last year where I posted a recap of Granddad's funeral: . . .for the record, you will never be my 'ex' anything. We are family, through and through. Thank you, Suze!

Clarence T., Chuck, has been in my life and memory since I was four and our family moved to Texas. As a friend of my family and member of our little branch of the church in McAllen, father to his own four beautiful children who I looked up to all my growing up years. (And still do.)  He worked alongside dad (or for sure the other way around) in various church callings for years and in literally putting up the church building; was my Seminary teacher; I think branch president too. Steve, if you're reading can you remember when? I fell in love with his son and so he was my father-in-law then for 19 years. He loved me. I call him Dad and will always.

He did love me. I like remembering the things he's done for Marc and me and the children, so many I've lost count over time, and like Jenny who posts (below) that she'll never forget Granddad's smile, I love remembering the looks of adoration he poured on those he loves. To Grandma especially and always, and his grandchildren who in the early years lived right under his feet, all but three. He told stories often (as we adults gathered at their house with our kids) of his and Grandma's own four children. "I miss my babies," he'd say out loud, three of those grownups sitting around on the furniture grinning. With the ruckus his numerous grandchildren present were making around us, I wondered how! But here it was. He told me I would come to it too in time, and miss mine. Unbelievable; could time go by for me and Marc like it's done for the old folks? My kids grownups? I was 25, forgive me. And I did and do, so much.

I saw Granddad last in February, 2006, at Grandma's funeral.



He didn't remember me at first; he needed help from his children and adult grandchildren for most everything then. Grandma's funeral brought many of us together in one place, family gathered like we had been two and three decades before, with the happy addition of two of the other three beautiful grandchildren and their own father. Their mother Judy, Dad's oldest, had passed away six months before and we felt truly she was present with us on the other side of the veil even as Grandma, her mother, crossed to her. In my mind's eye they were together. Pictures I have of Granddad show me how much he was declining then. I'm grateful it hasn't been many years since Grandma's death before he himself has passed away. I "remember" Granddad with his sweetheart again (in my mind's eye) and healthy and vital and working hard in the spirit world for us now, the ones he loves.

The kids each have contributed a memory:

Jen: Many of my childhood memories include Granddad. In fact, I cannot think of my early years in McAllen without him coming to mind. His home was our gathering place. We swam, we played with cousins, and we listened to him play the piano and tell stories. We moved away when I was 5 or so, but when I was 7 I came back to visit. That summer I stayed a good long while at Grandma and Granddads, and he took me to H.E.B. regularly in the Caddy. I had a thing for those Brach's Butterscotch candies, and he made sure I always had a good stash that summer. He surprised me with a new Cabbage Patch Doll -  all the rage in the early 80's - and I could tell how excited he was to give it to me. I'll never forget his smile and his laugh; how his eyes would crinkle up. There were other visits too, when I was 12 and we spent time at the beach; and other visits throughout my teen and early adult years.  I remember his gentle hug and kiss each time I'd see him; how he'd always call me "sugar."

As his body and mind slowly began to weaken the visits became less frequent. But I knew he thought of me, and always knew how much he loved me. Just days before his passing I spoke with him as the phone was held to his ear. In slow and mumbled tones I could hear "I...love...you," over and over. I love you too Granddad.  Can't wait to see you again.

Erin: When I think about Granddad the first thing that pops into my head is the way that he looks. Gray hair (wispy on top), pursed lips, big knuckles, pot belly and skinny legs, and usually a smile. I picture that old man singing to Cap'n Jack (the dog), playing the piano, teasing Grandma, whistling like a bird, telling stories, and just sitting watching his family. Granddad, I love you and can't wait to be with you and Grandma again someday.

Brad: One of the things that I remember most about Granddad was his sense of humor. He was very witty and loved a good joke - which I think we all know he has passed on to all of his children. There is one experience I remember back in 2005 (I think) when we were all in Omaha for aunt Judy’s funeral. We were all gathered at Bob Davis’ house the night before the funeral talking and catching up. There were probably thirty to forty  people there, children running around, about fifteen different conversations going on. After a while, it was getting near dinner time and dad (Marc) leaned over to me and said (in what I thought was a comparatively low voice), “Hey, what do you say we go get some dinner . . . maybe get a steak?” Before I could respond, Granddad (who hadn’t been talking with anyone) from across the room and through all of the clamor, said (not sure if he even knew who he was responding to), “Steak?  I’ll have a steak . . . let’s go!!” and proceeded to try and push his wheelchair to the front door. Now I know this wasn’t intentionally funny, but at the time we all thought it was hilarious that amidst all the chaos and among all of the noise (and likely with hearing that wasn’t so good) Granddad heard loud and clear the offer of steak, and was the first one out the door. We, all forty of us, loaded up and descended on a steak house and had a great dinner. I now can see where we all get our ability to sniff out a good meal opportunity. Several years later now I still remember that and how funny I thought it was. His ability to make people laugh and smile was one of the best things about him, and I will always remember it.

Dana: A got wonderful impressions of Granddad from being with Brad at his funeral. I liked what Jackie read in the eulogy about all his community service. It's clear that though he has a big family, service in that area was always important to him. I'm also impressed with how he loved each of his grandkids, some close and some far; each grandchild has specific memories about Granddad. Like for instance Judy's and Bob's daughter who calls Granddad "the grandpa with the pool," even now that she's grown up! I read in Granddad's journal the feelings he had for his children. He didn't remove himself -  he mourned for hard things with them and was happy when they were happy. He seemed to be a spiritual giant. I felt like saying, "I never met your Grandpa, but I feel like I know a lot about him."

Dan: I remember helping dress Granddad for the burial. It was a sacred and life changing experience. On the drive to Dallas from Utah dad told Scott and me stories about Granddad I'd never heard before. About dad's life at home as a little kid with his parents, and also what he knew about Granddad's conversion - how he and his mom were brought into the church by missionaries. I remember feeling for the first time very proud of my middle name, which is Granddad's mom's maiden name.

Amy: I didn't go to the funeral. I loved hearing about the white birds high over the grave site.



I thought what a great opportunity it has been for the whole family to be together - I like the picture you took, mom, of your kids together at the cemetery.

Amy's comment on the blog last year after reading the recap post: What a trip! I'm glad to hear you had such a great time. I love to honor people who have lived great lives. Sure hard to get through some funerals, though. Thanks for this opportunity to peek vicariously into your experience.

Scott: My memory is of Granddad a couple or three years ago. We called him maybe around Christmas, I can't remember for sure, but all the kids were together with dad and we called Granddad. We passed the phone around person to person, and when it came to my turn I got the phone and think I heard someone who was with him on the other end remind him who I was. I was expecting him to be confused especially after having talked to three or four others before me. It's hard for any grandparent to keep track of their grandkids' lives. Once he was told who I was, I was shocked that he asked personal questions about me, even asking about my mission to New Jersey, from which I'd been home probably two years. I never would have believed he could remember something as small as where I served, considering he had to be reminded who I even was. It was a great conversation. Very spiritual. It goes to show that he really cares for his family even those of us he's far away from. When it came to simple matters of everyday life his mind began to fail him a little bit, but when it came to his family, I was impressed at how sharp he was. I believe it's because that's what he cared most about.

Dan: In addition to what I said already, I’d just say that Granddad was always there.  I don’t know if that makes sense when written in words . . . although I rarely saw him, he was a constant in my life; the kind of constant that children need as they grow up.

I well remember my patriarchal blessing, and I can still hear his voice in my head every time I read it.  The highs and lows of his powerful but tender voice; both Patriarch and Grandfather all in one. He knew me . . . although I knew so very little about him, somehow he knew me. He’d ask me about my life when we visited or spoke on the phone. As an adult I can now see how and why he knew me; but as a kid who rarely saw him it was surprising and impressive. I find so much power in his life now that he’s gone.

----
And one more memory for the record.

Natalie: They came to the front, fifteen adults, some with their hands and arms upon each other all looking at us (their middle-aged parents, aunts and uncles), knowing the song inside out and most all living it truly. I have a family here on earth; they are so good to me. I want to share my life with them through all eternity. Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father's plan. I always want to be with my own family - and the Lord has shown me how I can. The Lord has shown me how I can!  Some looked steadily forward while they sang. Some began to cry. Erin did. Brad soldiered through. Dan lifted his chin and closed his eyes and sang. Scott got through the first verse, then put his head down and wept. Jen kept going, looking above our heads I'm sure at the EXIT sign at the back of the chapel. I cried listening. The kids' dad did. They couldn't look at us. We all adults wept, watching our children and thinking of Granddad and Grandma, our own lives, these children's lives, and their children's. While I am in my early years, I'll prepare most carefully, so I can marry in God's temple for eternity! Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father's plan. I always want to be with my own family - and the Lord has shown me how I can. The Lord has shown me how I can!

I love you, Granddad.