No connection

I heard this in church yesterday. Very cool!

"Trouble has no necessary connection with discouragement."

F. Scott Fitzgerald, quoted in For Times of Trouble (link), by Jeffrey R. Holland

Knotty

So Scott asked me yesterday morning if I thought my back and shoulder pain I've been experiencing could be from lifting weights. What?!! Hadn't considered it. I figured it's from how I sleep or sit at the computer – knots formed, shoulder muscles contracted from lousy posture. Way past time for someone to straighten me out.

The trigger-point therapist thinks my pain could be from this, yes. Over time, even how I hold myself when I walk, etc. Or, she says, it might be how I'm storing my energy. (What energy? I say.) Stress. Yeah, I've even said this to friends who're wondering what's up. Stress does lodge in the body confirms Jenna, my therapist. Confirms Ron, our trigger-point therapist in Georgia who worked on both Kent and me there, relieving us of it. And Trudy, my dear friend here who practices energy release, cranial-sacral, and deep tissue massage and under whose hands I've been any number of times in two decades. (A pattern here?)

Stress. Or... now I'm thinking about what Scott said. Since Christmas I have worked on the weight machines at the rec center but I wouldn't have thought overdoing it, nope. March 1st I got a crick in my neck. I vacuumed at the church for an hour and eleven minutes straight the morning of the 2nd, whew, and a day later wowee a dagger to the shoulder blade! The very next day angry buzzing in my left arm and hand. One after the other in super short order, pain to take my breath away.

I buy into my friends' good wisdom that my pain could be stress-related and also wonder if I've just done myself wrong at the gym, easy as that. Who knows? I don't know enough body protocol, what to do and what to always avoid. So what best thing will heal me? Take away the pain? (Ooooh pain changes things. Maybe there's too many lessons still for me to learn for it to go right away. We'll see).

I say pretty often time is not my enemy and feel enough patient for my own body to show me. So far, continued deep tissue work it is. S l o w l y and painfully. Dad offered the other day, tongue in cheek, that he can't believe at 58 I'm still so naughty knotty (ha ha)... so yeah, aren't I getting the naughty worked out! Believe it! And other good things will work: drinking water; positive attitude; stretching; meditation; believing-hoping-praying. Exercising – and no heavy lifting.

Green

We have the beginnings of things green!



Lovely to see buds opening on our sticks bushes!



Ahhhh!



At ground level, a profusion. Parsley braves the cold and flourishes...



while irises soldier up into the sunshine!
-----

Green is the Color
~Carolyn Spencer, American poet

You may go praise your roses, and talk of heavenly blue,
Or white, the garb of innocence, and purity's own hue;
Your roses fade, your white is dimmed, your blue is pale to see,
But here's the truest color – the green, the green for me!

Well chose the ancient Mother, our blooming Mother Earth,
When she could deck her majesty with beauty to its worth;
She keeps her youth, her every spring is fairest ever seen,
For young life's fresh beginnings are always in the green.

Come near it, ye foresaken, and charm your gloom away,
Green is the ever-fresh, and springing from decay;
A thousand winters stamp it out, the humble little grass; –
A thousand times it smiles to see the banished winter pass.

You must fade out the blue from the eternal sky,
You must blot out the sunshine, before the green will die;
Flaunt out, my summer beauty! of colors you are queen
The very heaven's blue and gold must blend to make the green!

There's honor to the lowest, the grasses small and sweet,
O, none should go among them but with the lightest feet;
They're kin to the nobility, the old and stately trees,
Yet love to bless the common soil with kindly charities.

Here's to the meadow grasses – O, bonnily they toss
Their light heads to the bobolink, his hidden nest across;
Here's to the churchyard grasses – O, tenderly they wave,
The certain resurrection they preach from every grave.

http://www.blackcatpoems.com/s/green_is_the_color.html

"A Quiet Heart" by Patricia T. Holland

Not all of our prayers are answered as directly and positively as we might want. But every answer – or lack of answer – from the Lord is such that it will lead to greener pastures. This gospel is filled with promise, and I am grateful for them all.

I hope that you recognize and believe in the promises; there is a green pasture for each and every one of us. And do not be deceived into thinking that even though there are different and seemingly unfair paths in life, that in the end we all get the same pasture. Your pasture will compensate for your path, and my pasture will compensate for my path. Whether in this life or the next, and it is always in both, when the Lord opens up the windows of heaven, there will be a pouring forth of blessings that directly heal and repay for every individual pain and sacrifice you are experiencing. He will throw open those windows for every child who simply has enough faith to obey and believe that he is good.

Good things to come

Okay, seriously, no REALLY, please take the five minutes today to watch this. I love its author. I love its message. I take heart. I hope you do too. Life is hard. Life is good. Hugs! :)

Big Ears

(How come this post and the last one I posted on listening (linky) have elephants with big ears in them? Huh?)

I keep studying, reading about listening. 'Cause I'm trying to do better, ya' know? I should say here that in the twelve-plus years I've been married to Kent he's repeatedly shown me I'm an interrupter. Which he doesn't mind adding is rude. It follows that as I interrupt, I haven't been listening, or am not capable. Or WILL not; rather, as my September 15, 2013 (link)  post "Ingrained Impulse" indicates, "it’s hard to quell the impulse to interject, especially when you have a relatable story or a point you don’t want to miss making," so my attention must be on myself rather than the speaker.

I might add some in my family are interrupters. Mm, not my sisters Sarah, Laura and Marcia or brothers Chris or Mark. I've really noticed how considerate my sibs are, and their spouses. Not so much Scott and Dan and Brad – well maybe a little bit Brad; nor the kids' spouses. It's the rest of us that can kind of take over, have lots to share, two of us right in this house.

Kent's persuasive. September last when I posted about this isn't so long ago that I've quit thinking about it. In six months it's not off my radar. Out of a strong sense that Kent's right and with the wish to improve I zip my lip. Gary Lundberg from "Listening With Your Heart" says "Zip your lip and open your ears and your heart." Aw, you should see me practicing. And you may be one reading here who wishes I'd keep practicing! 'S'no wonder I'm still reading up, right?!

This bit below then adds to the "zip your lip" part the "big ears" approach to listening. (Maybe a whole 'nother post in the future will say I'm doing better at where you, the speaker, have my full, undivided, un-self-ish attention. Coming soon!)

Elevate. We want our message heard, but when someone really listens to us, we feel valued and meaningful. When we really listen, we change feelings and build relationships and trust. When you elevate the purpose of listening, you will naturally listen better more of the time.

Admire. One barrier to listening is that we don't really think the other person has anything new or valuable to say. If we think we already know the information they are going to share, it is much easier to be distracted from their message. If you want to naturally and automatically listen better, start with a belief that they have something valuable or interesting to say.

Relate. Our brains operate faster than required for us to take in the words of others. When we are really listening we are harnessing that extra brain power to focus on the speaker's message. One of the best ways to naturally harness that power and focus is to relate the message to something you care about and already understand. The process of relating more effectively to the message and the speaker naturally helps us listen better.

Serve. When we realize that true listening is a service to others, we change our listening paradigm. True listening happens so infrequently in life that it is like a red letter day on the calendar when it does happen. Listening is a service to others. When you go into any conversation with a service approach, your listening behavior will immediately improve.
 Kevin Eikenberry (link)
 -----

Hence, the elephants. Listening is hard. The bigger the ears, the better!

"Perhaps all the dragons in our lives

...are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.” ~Ranier Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

-----

I've had this quote on my mind, another by Rilke to follow yesterday's post – and queued up here – a good while. And've found pictures of dragons and princesses, even a bear standing nose to nose with one diminutive princess. (Interesting what looms large for us, eh.)

So how 'bout Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood to make the point?



I so love this, quote and all!

Revered, loved and struggled with

I found this quote on the sidebar of Laura's blog the other day.

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.... Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.~ Rainer Maria Rilke

In my reading of course! I found a post from two years ago by a man recounting his decision to go into the seminary when he was younger. He got various reactions from friends and family. His mother couldn't believe he was heading away from a well-paying job into poverty as a minister. Though he'd wanted to be a preacher since he was five... A cousin hoped he wouldn't lose his faith in seminary. (What?!!)

After many years the man came to understand what his cousin meant: he was hoping the man's faith and comprehension of scripture could remain untouched through his years there. Because (for the cousin) learning more about the foundations of faith might be harmful to its health. He was afraid for him – and for himself – that learning more meant trusting less. He was afraid of questions that have no answers.

Here's what I focused on from this man's post...

"To fear learning must be a terrible thing. To fear knowing must be terrifying. To fear questions must be perpetual imprisonment. I did not take the well-intended advice of my cousin. He’d known many a young man who had gone off to study God and returned to church with an air of being enlightened. In my cousin’s opinion, they were anathema. Fortunately the knowledge I gained in my time at seminary was a blessing, not a curse. Despite his fears, I did not become brilliant or super-religious or perfect. I don’t have a hot-line to God any more than they do."

"I did get a new vocabulary that allowed me to finally ask the bigger questions of life."

"Can you imagine going through life trying to describe chocolate without any words relating to it? That’s how most of my life felt, not knowing where to go or how to ask or what to even question about my faith. All I knew was that I wanted to be in a place that allowed the questions and gave me the ability to voice them without judgement."

"The only enlightenment I obtained was the realization that I don’t have the answers anymore than anyone else does. There are things I will never understand, like why three-year-olds get leukemia or why sociopaths exist. There aren't answers to these questions, and they challenge and change my faith. Still, I have to ask, discuss, and listen to other points of view. Because if we can’t find the answer together, at least we can stand together in the mystery."

"I hope for... a place where the questions aren’t feared, but revered and loved and struggled with and wept over. I doubt any answers will be found to the larger questions of life, but that’s not the point. The point is to wade into them together and let them wash over you and carry you to a place different from where you started. Asking questions and seeking answers will most certainly change you and your faith. But faith is not a stagnant thing that once found, never changes. Faith is found in an uncertain journey, allowing ourselves to go to the dark recesses of our humanity and shine some light."

-----

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.... then... live along some distant day into the answer.

Verse

Do you love beautiful verse, unfathomable, almost, the first read through? Then the second... and, ah, other times... understood!

This all about geese might be best posted in the fall, October or November as the year is waning; however one season's not better than another to contemplate being "quiet in heart, and in eye, clear..."

As, says these lines, what we need is here.

The Wild Geese

Posted by jameswoodward under Sunday Pause for Thought

Geese appear high over us,

pass, and the sky closes. Abandon,

as in love or sleep, holds

them to their way, clear

in the ancient faith: what we need

is here. And we pray, not

for new earth or heaven, but to be

quiet in heart, and in eye,

clear. What we need is here.

 Wendell Berry

Little and big

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.

―W. Clement Stone

The way God sees us

From Homegrown Hospitality (link) amazing artist Stephanie Ackerman posts about transformation from a seminar she attended. "In order to change your life, you have to change your thinking." (Repeat daily, sometimes hourly.)"

"Speaking of changing your thinking, you also have to change the way you think about yourself," she writes. "UGH, this is a big one..." (She was taking notes fast and furious and fearing others were watching and judging how much she needed to transform!) "Thing is, I don't mind because I do have/had issues. We all do, duh, and I have a hunch that probably more people want to take notes (and notes and notes) but are worried that others "might see them" and that right there is just one of the things that messes up our relationships. FEAR."

"God doesn't want you to 'fake it,' He wants you to 'face it' because once you do, it makes life way more easy to handle.

I totally agree! She continues:

"Oh, and guess what?"

"NO MATTER WHAT, He loves you and He accepts you and whether you know it or believe it, you are AWESOME and it is time that YOU (and I) see ourselves the way GOD sees us."

You guys...

• unconditionally loved... yes
• completely accepted... aww
• totally forgiven... please
• extremely valuable and capable... right!

is how I want to see myself. I'll have to get up on tip-toe though, stick my chin out and crane my neck for the vantage point our Savior has Who declares in Isaiah 55:9: For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. His perspective, absolutely, is what I need!

Spring begins

For winter’s rains and ruins are over,
And all the season of snows and sins;
The days dividing lover and lover,
The light that loses, the night that wins;
And time remembered is grief forgotten,
And frosts are slain and flowers begotten,
And in green underwood and cover
Blossom by blossom the spring begins.

- Algernon Charles Swinburne

Heart to God

“Waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts.”
― Elisabeth Elliot

Fresh inspiration

Forgiveness. I typed that into my blog's search box the other day and read every post the search queued up. In seven years of blogging I've posted again and again on forgiveness... reading, I was moved by quotes, poems, pictures and some of my writing. Declarations! Confessions and commentaries; promises and prayers, and deep desires to forgive and be forgiven.

I've lived near my parents a few years now, mom ill and dad care-giving. They're champions at enduring. "Tough" and "real hard" comes with older age, and they're doing their best. (My eye is here cast on the poster by my computer, President Hinckley's quote: It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. How often I hear dad say essentially this!) It's fine print in life's little instruction book... my folks are champs.

They struggle. I struggle too as now we live together, watching, caring, giving care, knowing what to do, what to say, how to be with mom's illness and dad's persnickities. Dad calls personality quirks "persnickities." He's got 'em. I've got 'em, all God's children got 'em, he he! Persnickities are in every family – aw, and such often makes me wonder if I'm enough, enough, ever enough forgiving.

Until I die each day's a test. I try. I try... I do my best.

I enjoyed reading those past posts. Below is fresh inspiration from "Forgive, And Other Caregiving Lessons From My Mother's Dementia." (link) Forgiveness is all in a day's work.
-----
Four in 10 American adults care for an ailing or elderly family member, according to a study released this week (June, 2013) by the Pew Research Center’s Internet and American Life project. The numbers have been rising as the population ages and more people live with chronic illnesses, and that rise is expected to continue.

Forgive yourself for the moments when you want it to be over.

Be forgiving – of yourself and your loved one. Forgive your loved one for the emotional things they can’t give you any more. Forgive them for being so changed, and for leaving you while they are still right in front of you. Of course there is nothing actually to forgive. Forgive them anyway.

Forgive yourself for anger and impatience. Forgive yourself for not being very good at caring for someone with dementia, and for wishing you didn't have to sometimes. Forgive yourself for the moments when you want it to be over, and the moments immediately after those when you disgust yourself. Forgive yourself for all of it. Then try harder, and forgive yourself again.
-----

I've got a robe, you've got a robe,
All God’s children got a robe!
When I get to Heaven goin’ to put on my robe,
Goin’ to shout all over God’s Heaven!
Heav’n, Heav’n.
Ev’rybody talkin’ ‘bout Heav’n, ain’t goin’ there.
Heav’n, Heav’n,
Goin’ to shout all over God’s Heaven!

I've got shoes, you've got a shoes,
All God’s children got shoes.
When I get to Heaven goin’ to put on my shoes,
Goin’ to walk all over God’s Heaven!

I’ve got a song, you’ve got a song
All God’s children got a song
When I get to Heaven goin’ to sing a new song,
Goin’ to sing all over God’s Heaven!

I’ve got a crown, you've got a crown,
All God’s children got a crown!
When I get to Heaven goin’ to put on my crown,
Goin’ to shout over God’s Heaven!

Heav’n, Heav’n.

Ev’rybody talkin’ ‘bout Heav’n, ain’t goin’ there.
Heav’n, Heav’n,
Goin’ to shout all over God’s Heaven!

Leprechaun juice

I put ingredients for a Spinach and Avocado Smoothie recipe I wanted to try right in the blender... unsweetened almond milk, spinach leaves, avocado, honey, frozen banana. I blended and, wow, look how bright green! So I kind'a went green crazy today and threw in some more: broccoli stalk, lime juice, celery, frozen Granny Smith apple peel, and green peas left over from lunch the other day.

Here's how the original smoothie was going to look and, yep, mine looks just like this minus the way cute straws and chunky glasses.

Leprechaun juice for sure! Green! And not only... but edible! And not only edible but, whoa, delish!

Spinach and Broccoli Avocado Pea Smoothie

3 1/2 - 4 cups spinach leaves
2 broccoli stalks, chunked
1/2 ripe avocado, frozen or fresh
1 cup (3 to 4 stalks, cut) celery
1 (or more) Granny Smith apple peel, frozen or fresh
1/4 cup green peas, frozen or fresh
1/2 large ripe banana, frozen
1 cup pineapple, frozen or fresh
1 Tbsp. flax meal
1 Tbsp. soy protein powder
1 tsp. honey
2 rounded tsp. psyllium sugar free fiber (like Citrucel) (if desired)
1 to 2 tsp. lite drink mix powder, apple flavor
Whole lime, juiced
1/2 to 3/4 cup water or almond milk or coconut milk
Ice cubes (as desired)

Blend, blend, blend. Gorgeous!

Only love

Listening with your heart

By Gary and Joy Lundberg

I've been reading from "I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better" by Gary and Joy Lundberg. You don't get into the book far before you read about the Rules of Validation. There are four basic rules and they are Listen, Listen, Listen and Understand. I about laughed out loud reading these! But reading further helped me understand... the Lundbergs write:

Too many times we listen, but in our minds we’re thinking of ways to people solve their problem so as soon as they’re through talking we can jump in and tell them what to do. Stop it! It’s not your job. Your job is to listen, and you can do this more effectively if you use the four rules of validation.

Rule #1: LISTEN. Listen by giving your full attention. Look at the person, not a TV, iPhone, computer, newspaper, or anything else. Stop what you are doing and give yourself over to the one who needs your listening ear. Zip your lip and open your ears, and your heart.

Rule #2: LISTEN. Listen to the feelings being expressed. Let them feel what they are feeling. You can’t talk them out of what they're feeling. When someone says, “You shouldn’t feel that way,” it intensifies their frustration or anger. If you just listen and let them express how they’re feeling, it will do wonders in helping them be rid of those intense feelings. No one has the right to correct another person’s feelings.

Rule #3: LISTEN. Listen to the needs being expressed. If your mind is going into fix-it mode, then your listening stops. You may never really hear what that person’s needs are. When people have a chance to express their needs, uninterrupted, then that gives their mind a chance to focus and even come up with their own solutions, especially if at this point you ask a validating question.

Rule #4: UNDERSTAND. That means to put yourself in their shoes the best you can. You aren’t that person and you can’t know what he’s going through unless you try to see from his perspective, not yours. Instead of saying, “I understand what you’re going through,” you might say, “I can’t possibly know what it feels like to go through what you’re going through, so please help me understand better.” You don’t have to agree, you just work at understanding. That’s listening with your heart.
-----

I knew when I read these (after I stopped laughing and took 'em seriously!) I'd post them. Probably you already knew these rules and it's only me that needs coaching. I love how in this book there's a promise after following these that listening becomes genuine hearing that "sets the stage for meaningful and lasting validation."

And why listening with our heart? Why validation? Because every person has the universal need to believe inside themselves I AM OF WORTH, MY FEELINGS MATTER, AND SOMEONE REALLY CARES ABOUT ME.

The Lundbergs say it is through our recognition of others' worth that they will feel loved by us and ultimately empowered - wonderful! - to solve their own problems.

Out and about

Yesterday was a bright day, temps in the high fifties.



Judy helped mom on with her walking shoes,



and fleecy hoodie,



and these two got



out and about.



Pretty great, I say!

Sustaining hope, overcoming misunderstanding

My attention has been caught reading Elder David A. Bednar's article in the March Ensign "Faithful Parents and Wayward Children" by this:

“We remember that the prodigal son wasted his inheritance, and when it was all gone he came back to his father’s house. There he was welcomed back into the family...”

I've read and heard and taught the parable of the prodigal son lots of times. My head kind of came up reading on here about the influence of righteous parents, even the cords of their sealing. I'm familiar with this quote – we all are – by Elder Orson F. Whitney cited by Elder Bednar:

“Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God."

Elder Bednar: “Statements by General Authorities of the Church describing the influence of faithful parents on wayward children have been and continue to be a source of great familial comfort. The consolation arises from the hope these messages seem to proffer that parents who honor gospel covenants, obey the Lord’s commandments, and serve faithfully can influence the salvation of their sons and daughters who go astray.”

“A principle in this statement [by Elder Whitney] that is often overlooked is that [wayward children] must fully repent and ‘suffer for their sins’ and ‘pay their debt to justice.’ I recognize that now is the time ‘to prepare to meet God’ [Alma 34:32]. If the repentance of the wayward children does not happen in this life, is it still possible for the cords of the sealing to be strong enough for them yet to work out their repentance?”

“We remember that the prodigal son wasted his inheritance, and when it was all gone he came back to his father’s house. There he was welcomed back into the family, but his inheritance was spent. [See Luke 15:11–32.] Mercy will not rob justice, and the sealing power of faithful parents will only claim wayward children upon the condition of their repentance and Christ’s Atonement. Repentant wayward children will enjoy salvation and all the blessings that go with it, but exaltation is much more. It must be fully earned. The question as to who will be exalted must be left to the Lord in His mercy.”

Elder Bednar continues: “Perhaps in this life we are not given to fully understand how enduring the sealing cords of righteous parents are to their children. It may very well be that there are more helpful sources at work than we know. I believe there is a strong familial pull as the influence of beloved ancestors continues with us from the other side of the veil.”

“As parents are patient and persistent in loving their children and in becoming living examples of disciples of Jesus Christ, they most effectively teach the Father’s plan of happiness. The steadfastness of such parents bears powerful witness of the redeeming and strengthening powers of the Savior’s Atonement and invites wayward children to see with new eyes and to hear with new ears (see Matthew 13:43).”

The Alphabet of the Human Heart, Too

Last May I brought to the blog The Alphabet of the Human Heart from illustrator Matthew Johnstone and James Kerr, posting... Can't our emotions teeter-totter regularly from positive to negative! Yes. Today pick and choose from this alphabet below for an enlightening look at how negative emotions can set us back (link) and how we can get over it.

Here's their alphabet again, the A to Z of human emotions, illustrating those that make our spirits soar.

A... IS FOR ADVENTURE: Adventure is the opposite of television.

B... IS FOR BALANCE: As humans we understand things as opposites: Yin and Yang, good and bad, up and down, day and night. Balance is the tension between opposites: rest and activity, conversation and silence, sociability and solitude, love for another and love for oneself. Every moment your life is in the balance. Weigh your options.

C... IS FOR COMPASSION: Compassion means to live with love. It means caring for the sick — and the healthy, too. It means being kind to the needy — and those who need for nothing. Compassion is an equal opportunity emotion. To make others happy, treat them with compassion. To make yourself happy, treat others with compassion.

D... IS FOR DARING: Daring is doing. It gets things done. Every great achievement begins with it. Every great person first dared to be great.What will you dare to do today?

E... IS FOR ENTHUSIASM: For enthusiasts, life is an adventure playground, a theatre, a movie-set, a laboratory, a love story, a test track, a roller-coaster, a dance, a gift, a blessing, a blast, a thrill . . . Let enthusiasm lift you higher. Wherever it takes you, it will be the right place.

F... IS FOR FRIENDSHIP: Friendship is cheaper than therapy, often deeper. Feed your friendships and they will sustain you. Love your friends and you will be loved. Watch their backs and they will watch yours. If life’s a game, your friends are your team. Choose them carefully.

G IS FOR GRATITUDE: Gratitude grows wherever it is planted. Gratitude is more than saying thank you for dinner, it’s saying thank you to life. When you give thanks, thanks gives back. So be grateful for what you have, and you’ll have everything you need. The first sign of greatness is gratitude. 

H... IS FOR HOPE: There is one thing sure in life: this too will pass. No matter your situation, it is certain to change. However dire things may seem, there is always a new day, a new way. Hope helps. Like a rope, it can pull you out of a hole.

I... IS FOR IMAGINATION: Imagine what's possible, then make it happen. A cake isn't a cake until it's cooked.

J... IS FOR JOY: Happiness is found deep within. It comes from our soul — not from external things. So look inside and feel the joy. Soon those around you will feel it, too. 

K... IS FOR KNOWLEDGE: Pass it on.

L... IS FOR LOVE: In life, we lose our youth, our strength, our influence, our memory, even our bladder control. In the end, all we have, and all we will be remembered for, is the love that we give; not just to one person, but to everyone we meet. Remember this — and you will be remembered. What is there to say about love that has not been said before, except I love you. Love is a four-letter word. Swear by it.

M... IS FOR MEDITATION: Meditation is a form of medication. When your soul aches, take a moment. The more you get into meditation, the more you get out of it. So be mindful - sit in stillness and silence, watch those thoughts, empty your mind - and live a full and conscious life. Because now is where it's at. Learn to listen and very soon the truth will whisper in your ear.

N... IS FOR NOW: It really is now or never. Life is fleeting. Miss the moment and it’s gone for ever. To make the most of life, make the most of every moment. Forget the past, ignore the future, be present to the present. Look around. Where are you? How do you feel? Notice your breathing. The sounds all around you. Your thoughts as they pass. What can you see that you’ve never seen before? It doesn’t matter where you’ve been. It doesn’t matter where you’re going. It only matters where you’re at.

O... IS FOR OPTIMISM: Optimism put man on the Moon and food on the table. Optimism looks for the best in every situation. The upside of every downside. The yes in every no. Cultivate it. Optimism will bring you friendship and success, health and wealth, love and laughter. It's that kind of word. 

P... IS FOR PASSION: Passion has the power to transform your life — to reveal your purpose, your reason for being, your life’s work. To find out what your passion is, ask yourself: ‘What would I do if money was no object?’ Paint? Write? Teach? Dance? Open a vineyard, start a charity, even found a bank? The trick is to think big, then begin by taking small, steady steps towards your dream. Mark Twain said: ‘The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.’ What would you do if you could do anything at all? Passion makes anything possible.

Q... IS FOR QUIET

R... IS FOR RECONCILIATION: You cannot undo the past. But you can change the future. To reconnect with someone, first forgive yourself. You’re human, you mess up. Then forgive the other person. They’re human, too. If you do mess up, confess and apologise. Saying sorry goes a long way. Meaning it goes even further. Remember: the sooner you can laugh about it, the sooner you can laugh about it together.

S... IS FOR SMILE: Unleash the power of a smile. Smile at strangers. Smile at trees. Smile at misfortune. Smile at yourself in the mirror in the morning. Smile just for the sake of it. Soon fortune will smile back at you.

T... IS FOR TRUST: Trust is the bedrock of love, the mattress of marriage, the cradle of childhood, the foundation of friendship. Trust in the truth and, the truth is, you’ll be trusted.

U... IS FOR UNIVERSE: When things are looking down, look up. Sometimes realising our cosmic insignificance can put our troubles in perspective. Have faith, trust in Fate, be free. The Universe is there to support you. Climb on board.

V... IS FOR VISION: To understand what your vision is, ask the Big Questions. What am I? What are my values? What do I want to teach, to pass on? These are the beginnings of a vision. One day you will ask yourself: ‘What kind of life have I lived?’ What will your answer be?

W... IS FOR WISDOM: Knowing isn’t wisdom. Knowing yourself is.
There is more wisdom in contentment — accepting life and everything in it — than is contained in all the libraries in the world. Your soul is a book — study it carefully. Share what you’ve learned. If you go out looking for wisdom, it won’t know where to find you.

X... IS FOR A KISS: A kiss shows love and intimacy, tenderness and desire. It can say hello or goodbye, good luck or good riddance, adoration or adulation. It can say things that can otherwise never be said, communicating without sound. What will you say with a kiss today? And who will you say it to?

Y... IS FOR YOU: To live a full and satisfying life, think with your heart, be loyal to your dreams, engage your emotions, respect your relationships, defy your fears, pursue your passions, find your flow, express your energy, enjoy the moment, contribute to your community, feed your mind, your body and your soul, leave a legacy and live with love. Be happy. Be honest. Be hopeful. Be yourself.

Z... IS FOR ZEN (AGAIN): You may recognise zen from yesterday’s Alphabet of Toxic Emotions. That’s because it is where the negative and the positive meet. It’s a neutral state of being. Of silence. Peacefulness. Wakefulness. Mindfulness. Balance your being and your life will be in balance. Live right and everything will be in balance. Sit in stillness and silence. Turn your eye inward.

• Extracted from The Alphabet of the Human Heart by Matthew Johnstone and James Kerr.