Happy New Year!

The Christmas candy all got eaten by just exactly the time I decided to take down Christmas. Santas, the tree, knickknacks -  this morning that all went away. It made me sad a little but it's good to have the house back to normal. Kent's still cracking filberts in front of the football game and I'm munching the last of the popcorn, but mostly the Christmas goodies, all of them, are gone.

is coming to a close. 

It's a bright winter afternoon here, 

so good for my spirits! 

A few deviled eggs to make

 to add to a light

supper party with friends, 

and we're out of here tonight

to celebrate.

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Wishing you a

2012

I think... I feel like...

Laura my sister used this word with me...

cod-dle /ˈkädl/

Verb:

Treat in an indulgent or overprotective way: "I was coddled and cosseted".

....when last month we were going pell-mell around the track at the rec center. She said to me, You don't coddle your feelings. 

This thing she said (for me) has to do with hard things. I wrote about that one time, and do believe...

But the business of it can run pretty deep. I was thinking about it a couple of days ago - because I was again in the temple where the morning's work can feel, well, long. Even demanding. Sure I bring my body and mind here - how amazing a place! I'm present and accounted for... but (and hopefully this is all of us or I'm not quite human) so at times are wishy-washy feelings. I titled a blog post recently "Yes, please; No, thank you," because these feel just like this.

"Yes, please! Let me serve in the temple!"

"Yes, please! I will rise early and travel the miles there."

"Yes, please, I will accept each assignment offered me."

Laura says I don't coddle my feelings, but I tell you I do grapple with some.

"No, thank you, that's giving up my time in a pretty big way."

"No, thank you, get up how early? What if I don't sleep the night before...?" (yadayada).

"Really, 30 miles per hour the whole six miles there? And back..." (grouse and sniffle)

"No, thank you, isn't it by now 8:00 yet? 9:00, please? Hm, another hour to go? Stand, sit... I'm pooped."

O BOTHER! Any indulgent feelings that can come along with me to the temple...

and incidentally anywhere I commit myself...

are most SURELY being grappled with. If I did coddle them, my time spent doing this (or any thing of value) would be cut to nothing, or its value as my gift to God and others would be nil. And as for hard things, I always think, REALLY, Nat? You have the gall to fidget and fret? What did your ancestors give of themselves and their time and energy? Your life is easy and blessed!

I felt THAT sitting quietly at my post in the temple. This post which added minutes to my shift each week in December letting me finish up (along with one other worker) an hour and a half beyond the normal six. Grouse and sniffle I might have if I had coddled my feelings these past weeks! "No, thank you, not fair!" I don't love selfish emotions that can stir in me the minute I say I do (hard things). It's not grown up or pretty. How they get in the way of seamless service! But who becomes a saint in these instances?

I suppose this is a too-honest post. What a weakness I have if I'm all about my feelings... I think there must be saintly figures ahead of me in life whom I can emulate who've overcome and who serenely serve! Wake and travel and are truly content to come and go.... that gives me hope! Mom has served her whole life; Marcia my sister does now in the Philippines. I think of the good sisters I work with in the temple who keep me real! I love them all... Yes, please, that's for me! No, thank you, to all the rest.
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“We're not just building a Temple here, the Lord is building us.” ― Joseph Smith Jr.

Day after Christmas party

Let's get started.. this party's gonna rock-n-roll. We'll leave the guys holding down the furniture.



Plenty of barbecue and soft drinks and dessert - and good-for-you food  in there too, salad and fruit.  So here's Synthia and Jenny...



... and Jenny and Shayla.



(Just had to... from 2007)


Mom, you're so cute! Hi Karen and Andrew.



Amy's two months from having her baby girl. She beggggggged me not to take a full picture. So we played "portrait studio" a minute where she was resting and she let me (such a wonderful girl!) pretend I'm a photographer and get her bright face - encourage just the right smile! Amy, you're beautiful and I SOOOO love you!



Groups moved through the house like fish in the deep sea; you'd go to pick someone out and get a school! Karen, Jenny, Shayla, Skylar, Andrew, you know what, I like your happy!



Okay, seriously guys?



Synthia visits with mom and dad and who knows who's saying what? Prolly dad's saying keep your day job, Synth. She and Matt are newlyweds and a more wonderful young couple there isn't!



Almost goodbye now for Kent and me. 'Nother couple of rounds through the house. Karen straight needs to give me her camera card before she and Chris and Andrew and Ben drive off for Southern Utah today (sad). I got used to them being next door.



Karen, Laura and Andrew.



And WHO AM I MISSING?

Well just lots of folks. There's Robert talking to Baden,



and Robert with his back to me next to Kent and across from Matt (just married to Synthia in September),



and then just Robert! And Dan's been around and is even in one of the pictures above I think (the one where I took picture of Karen taking a picture) but may have been partly chopped out by Blogger's resize feature. Gee.

Good guys all!



And Scott and Gaby like old friends like the whole evening...





Speaking of Gaby, isn't she awesome! My first cousin, she and her sibs are my kids' ages and are all good friends.



Uhm, guys?... Sharm and Chris yet and still.



Good times!

Christmas yin

Boy I was glad to get in my chair in the afternoon yesterday and, as it got darker and darker outside, watch "Planet Earth" reruns with Kent. Not something Christmas. We've had a sure lot of yang around here today and I wanted yin to close out the day. I was dozing way before the "Shallow Seas" episode was over but I woke in time to put pics on the blog before I went to bed. I've thought about a few more this morning because of course I'm up early and have that good morning energy back. You might like these... Karen took them.



Did you have a good Christmas?

Kent and I went to Sacrament meeting and of course I stood up with the choir. Remember all the practice we had to have Saturday... it was SO good to feel that beautiful music pour over the congregation yesterday as we sang. Without doubt the Spirit touched many there. Beautiful, wonderful words were spoken, and stories told. I said to Kent driving home that that hour has been more satisfying than the hectic hours of the morning, loved ones notwithstanding.

Robert and Jenny and boys are in the car already starting their long drive here from Robert's parents home in CO. I texted Jen a few minutes ago and they're getting gas. Doubtless the boys are in their car seats, but whether eager or drowsy, I dunno. It's cold



- and early, almost too for tired kids the day after Christmas. I wish them love and safety coming.

Chris and Karen vanished from here yesterday evening to Laura's after noshing on chilled shrimp and red sauce and cheese and crackers in the afternoon and semi-napping with us on the furniture and floor. Sprawled! Laura was in high spirits (there were fun loud family noises coming through the phone) when I called her at last before I went to bed. This morning there shan't be a word from that bunch before 8:30. I know - I'm fixing their French toast and/or left over egg gravy for breakfast in a while and don't expect a one of them before full light.

The town looks sleepy outside my window. Let not the trash truck come roaring up the hill; nor the construction start up below us. No craziness today - just rest.

 Do come to my house restive gang,
And every door let Christmas in!
But know that soon the festive yang
Will settle into Christmas yin.

Very Merry!

Temple Square Christmas Eve, and to Village Inn for hot chocolate and pie. Please... 24 degrees.




My brother Chris and his wife Karen and their boys Andrew, left, and Ben, center. Kent too, and sorry 'bout Scotty with closed eyes. Lights were awesome!


-------



Mom and Dad came at 6:17 a.m., first to arrive. I had egg gravy on the stove warming for breakfast and hot chocolate and wassail. Chris and Karen knocked on the door soon after and came upstairs  with their boys and two pans of cinnamon rolls; in the nick of time, by 6:30, Dan and Amy and their boys with oh such delight on their faces came up the stairs to the Christmas tree! Scott had rolled out of bed before then (he slept over) and we were all there.

Everyone said they had a great time opening presents - lots of commotion and lots of good food.



Me and Chris.



Every one in Amy's little family including Dan and her own self had M-Crew on their T-shirts. Amy did the shirts this week to go with Christmas sleep pants.



Andrew helped pass out gifts - love this pic taken by Karen.

Breath of Heaven

Yesterday morning at the temple I was chatting with a woman about memorizing. She was amazed she said how when she would begin to say in front of people something she'd memorized, she'd get confused part way through - because, oops, she didn't know where to

breathe

(She'd not learned that in her head!)

Kent and I watched a Hallmark Christmas show "The Christmas Pageant" in the afternoon tucked into our chairs and blankets as we are wont to be in front of the TV. Here's a snooty theater director come to a small town to direct its Christmas pageant and...  really it works out pretty well. I especially liked when the shy woman in the cast was coached by the now delightful director how to sing. In front of people. Here's the director steadying her; she closes her eyes and hears her say the words

just breathe

This very morning just after sunup the ward choir stood in the chapel to rehearse Christmas music for tomorrow's Sacrament meeting. "Don't take a breath right here," motions the choir director at a spot in the music and us with a wave; then, "Breathy! Give me breathy - you've gotta blend!" and, "That last note's twelve counts, sopranos. Hold on!"

breathe

In 24 hours I've gotten to think three times and three ways about what I NEVER think about. So an analogy: Whether we're

1)  sure of ourselves in a day; or
2) shy and scared; or
3) anxious to please

see how

breathing

blesses us. It may make us stumble a bit, and become a bit more humble. Or steady us - make us ready and willing to take center stage. And does bring power to our every effort as we command it. Mindfully. Mindfully!

I forget too, too much.

So thankful this morning to God for my life. Breathing IS life with its foibles and successes and workouts, and I want to take it all in!



[chorus:]
-----------------------------------
Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, your holiness
For you are holy
Breath of Heaven
-----------------------------------

Merry Christmas!

Davey

Most of today I've been a little, well,



about posting. I'm pooped. Should I skip a day? Naaahhh.
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When I was four years old mom stood me on a table at the church and I recited this poem at the branch Christmas party.

DAVEY AND THE FIRST CHRISTMAS

by Beth Vardon

Let's pretend there was a boy...

... and Davey was his name,
Whose family lived in Bethlehem when Christmas time first came.

Davey had a special pet--a donkey small and gray,
And what the two of them did best was getting in the way!

Davey named the donkey Tim. He never rode him though.
Either Tim was built too high or Davey was too low!

Davey's father had an inn where people came to stay;
And lots and lots and lots of them were coming there one day.

His father was as busy as six or seven bees!
So Davey said, "I want to help, can't I do something, please?
Tim would like to help you, too.
Find a job for us to do!"

"Listen, son," his father said; "Last week you broke three jugs.
You scared my two best customers with your pet lightening bugs!
You tracked in mud on my clean floor; you tripped and dropped the bread.
And though I loved the fish you caught--why leave them on my bed?
I've put up with your helpfulness as long as I am able.
So do me one big favor now, get out--and clean the stable!"

Davey sadly went and stood beside the stable door
It hardly seemed that anyone could clean that dirty floor.
He and Tim both felt so bad they started in to cry--
But then (thought Davey), "Yes, we can! Well, anyhow--let's try.

First, let's chase those chickens out. That's what we've got to do."
So, Tim began to flap his ears while Davey shouted, "Shooooo!"
The chickens clucked and flew and ducked, they fluttered wild and scary,
Until their feather filled the air, like snow in January.
Yes, Davey chased those chickens out, He and Tim together.
But now he had to get a sack and pick up every feather!

You should have seen how hard they worked! They stacked up all the wheat,
They straightened up the harnesses 'til they were nice and neat.
They fought with spiders bravely till they chased out every bug.
And since we must admit the truth--they broke another jug!

The very biggest job of all was stacking up the hay.
Davey climbed up to the loft and put it all away.
Look, Tim, You see how high it is? I'll make just one more trip."
Then clear up by the stable roof his feet began to slip!

Down came the hay and Davey, too. The stable looked so queer -
All you could see was piles of hay--one sandal, and one ear!
Slowly they came out on top, and Davey didn't whine,
Though hay stuck out all over him just like a porcupine!
He put the hay all back again and stacked it up with care--
But left one armload down below to fill the manger there.

So Davey's work was done at last, and when it all looked neat
He picked some flowers to trim the barn, and some for Tim to eat.
"I hope it's clean enough," he thought. "At least I did my best."
And feeling very, very tired, he curled up for a rest.

Who woke up Davey from his sleep? Just guess them if you can.
Mary was the woman's name; Joseph was the man,

Mary said, "Oh Joseph, look! This is a lovely place!"
Then, seeing Davey there, she said, with shining face,
Your father's inn had no more rooms; tonight we're staying here.
So tell me now, are you the boy who cleaned the stable, dear?
And did your donkey help you work? We want to thank him, too."
Though Davey was still half-asleep, his heart was glad clear through.

So, that is how a little boy two thousand years ago,
Stayed on to hear the angels sing, and see the Star aglow.
As soon as Baby Jesus came to use the manger bed;
Then Davey's sack of feathers made a pillow for his head.
No one told Davey anymore that he was in the way.
His work had helped get ready for the world's first Christmas Day!

I can actually remember saying it, the bright faces of adults I grew up with the next dozen or so years looking up at me. It is from about the 1950's - we have our age in common - and is as endearing a story today as fifty years ago. In fact I quite relate with Davey breaking two jugs... I broke two glass milk bottles walking to Grandma's house in about 1968 swinging them. (We're the same.) And look at the cute ears on Tim!

Oh well, another post about Christmas past.

Christmases past

December 1956  My first winter of life. Massachusetts.



December 1964  Part of a family portrait from my Nana and Grandpa Bird's 50th wedding anniversary party. (The teenager is our cousin. Chris hadn't been born.)



Same trip  We drove 30 hours straight to be in Utah this year. Another day with my grandparents.



January 1, 1970  No need for winter clothes too much in South Texas.



December 1973  I got the camera for Christmas and am picture-taking here (except for this first one below). Marcia's holding our cousin Lance in the second picture.



December 1979  By now I had married Marc and we had Jenny and Erin and I was expecting Brad in just two months. We drove 12 hours south to Mexico City to visit mom and dad. Marcia and Brent and their baby Brent flew in as well.



I can't really post Christmas morning pictures from this year 'cause we're all in our night clothes! So how 'bout images touring Mexico City.



December 1984  Salt Lake City. Miss you, Mark!



December pictures further forward in time are in a shoe box at my house or have been given to the kids - I sure don't have digital images from the 1980s to 2004 or so. Not unless someone's given me them like dad did by scanning these oldies one year and passing them forward.

Lots of memories wrapped up in this gift.
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December 2007

There's our Mark, hugging Laura... one of my favorite all time holiday pics!