Think

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

— Henry David Thoreau

Half-day journal entry

January 30, 2014 I was at the rec center before 5:00 a.m. and met Laura for walking. We walked the track the whole hour today. I got home and started a load of whites, then got breakfast – a smoothie for me and cereal for mom and dad. While they were eating I went downstairs and vacuumed their digs and cleaned their bathroom, laid down clean rugs and emptied the trash. They came down on the elevator from eating, turning to enter their rooms through the one door as I exited through the opposite and went upstairs with an armload of laundry and dirty rugs.

I decided suddenly to run errands and left the laundry between loads and the breakfast dishes and drove to Kmart, Walgreens, the other Walgreens in Bountiful, DI, and Deseret First Credit Union. I didn't find the pants at Kmart I wanted, shucks. I did discover Depends undergarments are $12.97 a package there though, two dollars less than Walgreens’ regular $14.98.

And in Walgreens I discovered I DO INDEED have a preferred customer card and I should’ve been able to get the SALE price on three packages of Depends I bought there two days ago (the lady checking me out asked “do you have a preferred customer card” and I said “no,” agggghhhh) so I found the store manager and pulled the receipt from my purse and asked her to adjust the purchase price. Heavens! I asked if this store had three more packages of Depends by the way and, no, it doesn't (I guess two days ago I bought the only three it stocked, right?) but the Bountiful store did. Does. I picked up a couple of sympathy cards there – one for my cousin whose mother, my aunt, died last month and the other for a wonderful friend in our ward whose husband just passed away. And a card for Scott whose birthday is in a week. Nonsense, but it’ll make him smile! Especially if there’s $$$ in it, right? It made me happy!

I drove to the Bountiful Walgreens and bought four packages of Depends for the preferred customer price of $11.98 each like I got the adjustment for on the former three packages. Best price for sure: beats Kmart's even. Sherri Harris called right then and I sat in the parking lot at Walgreens ten minutes before driving to the DI in Centerville, the while listening to and talking with Sherri about Harris' move here. They're moving here! Our friends from Georgia! Yay! There’s so much good coming from the processes that family’s in – God is in it! God IS in the details of our lives, isn't He.

Went into DI and shopped, coming out with a long-sleeved blouse that – finally – is brown. I've been looking for tops to match two brown skirts for church; really anything that will go, perhaps turquoise or pink or beige, but I was hoping for soft brown. I'm picky when I shop there; can't be just anything. This is it. Aw, this blouse is pretty! $5.00! It’s been snowing and raining this morning and I've sloshed from car to store and store to car and the same and the same in my Birkies for heaven's sake and I have wet toes and cold feet... where was my head when I dressed to go out? With 45 minutes until lunch I drove through the credit union drive-up to make a deposit. Got the receipt, looked around my car at my several bags: huge one of Depends, check; slim bag of cards, check; blouse, yup, and green purse (in which is my new phone!), and headed home. It's snowing.

Home, with minutes only to go before feeding the folks... but I pulled it off. Mom and dad came upstairs and we ate, and though mom was determined to leave the table shortly (anxiety) – and so we did; we two sat on the couch where I finished eating my veggie patty and salad – the three of us enjoyed a lovely meal (roast beef sandwiches and chips and fruit and olives and ice water and ice cream). Dad left holding mom by the arm and singing “Oh, Do You Remember Sweet Betsy from Pike” in her ear.

Through

James Talmage speaks of the "injustice that womanhood has endured in mortality" within the beautiful context of the hereafter. Eternal lives (connoting we will with our husbands propagate families and create worlds) is our promise for keeping our covenants here, rising in glory from the seeming ashes of this place. I was struck by the full quote I've posted at the bottom and its perfect juxtaposition to aspects of this poem by Robert Frost, "A Servant to Servants"...

"By good rights I ought not to have so much
Put on me, but there seems no other way.

One steady pull more ought to do it...
The best way out is always through.

And I agree to that... or in so far
As that I can see no way out but through —"

... wherein we, like this harried wife who speaks yea, rumbles may feel "much put on us." Perhaps we ought never to have to bear concerns more than for our very own self... but aren't we plenty of times servant to others? Even, this title announces, servant to servants? Certainly our brother's keeper? The family, children, mate; our neighbors maybe, or strangers or investigators.

Tasks, tasks here. Aren't they ordeals! I do relate but no better than all of us, I imagine... at times we strain under tedium or some worry or burden of work – a good deal, and feel – want – yes, the "one steady pull more" then that's all at last "to DO it." Finish a largish responsibility or struggle something new into being. And be done. Arrive! Ta da!

How many times do I consider Sariah from the Book of Mormon, Lehi's wife, years trekking the wilderness and a year crossing an ocean. That largish responsibility and struggling something new into being has been moralized to me in so many words: Go through it. You can't get around it. Go through. Life. "One steady pull more ought to do it..." (And so she did, God bless her!)

"The best way out is always through," says this poem.

I'm learning so. And I agree to that.

"When the frailties and imperfections of mortality are left behind, in the glorified state of the blessed hereafter, husband and wife will administer in their respective stations, seeing and understanding alike, and co-operating to the full in the government of their family kingdom. Then shall women be recompensed in rich measure for all the injustice that womanhood has endured in mortality. Then shall woman reign by Divine right, a queen in the resplendent realm of her glorified state, even as exalted man shall stand, priest and king unto the most High God.  Mortal eye cannot see nor man comprehend the beauty, glory, and majesty of a righteous woman made perfect in the celestial kingdom of God."
-James E. Talmage-

Then don't worry

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength - carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ― Corrie ten Boom

Learn from one another

“In these last days it is essential, even critical, that parents and children listen to and learn from one another.” M. Russell Ballard, of the Quorum of the Twelve

If we are too busy, if we are carried away every day by our projects, our uncertainty, our craving, how can we have the time to stop and look deeply into the situation - our own situation, the situation of our beloved one, the situation of our family and of our community, and the situation of our nation and of the other nations? -- Thich Nhat Hanh

Sunday

Our focus has a lot of power. When we focus on abundance (link) our life feels abundant, and when we focus on lack, our life feels lacking. It is purely a matter of focus. As we start looking for the good, our focus automatically is taken off the bad, and we feel so much better!



Imagine that you are the sun: Whatever you shine on will come to life, whatever you contribute energy to around you will expand and grow, and whatever you think about will blossom with your attention.

You don’t have to have certain things happen in order to start feeling better about your life, you just need to focus on the right things. The way you feel is largely determined by what you focus on. What you focus on is largely determined by the conscious and unconscious questions you ask yourself on a regular basis.

When we regularly reflect on what has gone well for us, we get a burst of happiness, become more optimistic, and exhibit greater levels of resilience. If you can sustain this frame of mind long-term, you’re more likely to experience better health, earn more money, have happier relationships, live longer, and overall, enjoy a better quality of life.

(Nat) Reading this article this weekend made me happy and hopeful. I'm determined to keep to one of the 13 things I brought into the new year with me... be happy and help. The "be happy" part is doable but can sometimes be sabotaged. Sometimes it's SO not doable! I'm more and more stopping to analyze when I have unhappy thoughts: wonder why I feel so "right" and therefore others are wrong... In the wondering, I'm pulling in gratitude and praying for understanding. So I can add to this in the moment "shifting my focus" to reflect on what is going well. Stop the grumpies! I want that "burst of happiness" this article promises that will bloom into sustainable joy. It's taking practice. If life was a bike... well it is, and I'm always pedaling.

Biggest Loser Oatmeal Pancakes

I made these today! Waaaaay good!

6 egg whites
1 cup rolled oats, dry
1 cup cottage cheese
2 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla 

In a blender, blend all ingredients until smooth. Heat a griddle or large non-stick skillet over medium-low heat. Spray with non-stick cooking spray. For each pancake pour 1/4 cup of batter onto griddle. Flip when they start to bubble. Cook until golden brown. Repeat with remaining batches, spraying the griddle as needed. Makes about 10 pancakes.

Number of Servings: 3
-----

And... from another blog, (link) this take-off from the above recipe looks great!

OATMEAL COTTAGE CHEESE PANCAKES WITH BLUEBERRIES
adapted from The Biggest Loser Oatmeal Pancakes (linky)
Serves 4 (8 pancakes)

3 large eggs
1 cup cottage cheese
3/4 cup rolled or quick oats (gluten-free if needed)
1/4 cup ground flax meal
2 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup blueberries (or as tolerated)
milk, as needed

Directions

1. In a food processor or blender, blend all ingredients (except blueberries) until smooth. Gently stir in the blueberries with a spoon. Add milk to thin the batter to your liking (I add about 2 to 3 tablespoons). More milk may be added if the batter thickens up as the oats absorb the liquid.
2. Heat a griddle to 350 degrees F or large non-stick skillet over medium-low heat. Spray with non-stick cooking spray. For each pancake pour a little over a 1/4 cup of batter onto griddle. Flip when they start to bubble. Cook until golden brown. Repeat with remaining batches, spraying the griddle as needed.

Today

You're gonna laugh. You're gonna laugh...! For our twelfth anniversary Kent's taking me to see "Frozen." At the movies. We'll eat popcorn and hold hands! Not in that order.

Our marriage is strong - it's a wonderful realization to wake up to every morning, and especially this. Also today's the 3rd anniversary of our arrival to this very house. Another good thing to wake up to. In. We're happy.

Good combination

Without judgment

Peace

Do you think peace requires an end to war
Or tigers eating only vegetables?

Does peace require an absence from your boss, your spouse, yourself?
Do you think peace will come some other place than here?
Some other time than now?
In some other heart than yours?

Peace is this moment without judgement.

That is all.

This moment in the heart-space where everything that is, is welcome.

Peace is this moment without thinking that it should be some other way
That you should feel some other thing
That your life should unfold according to your plans.

Peace is this moment without judgement.

This moment in the heart-space where everything that is, is
welcome.

Dorothy Hunt 

Better prepare

For want of a nail…

We heard in Conference last October from Elder Eduardo Gavarret of the Seventy the story of Richard III, King of England, who in 1485 was confronted by a pretender to the throne, Henry Tudor. Richard and his men prepare to face Henry’s army. The winner of the battle would be the ruler of England.

Richard sends a groom to see if his favorite horse is ready. “Shoe him quickly,” the groom orders the blacksmith. “The king wishes to ride at the head of his troops.”

The blacksmith answered that he would have to wait. “I've shod the king’s whole army the last few days and now I've got to go get more iron.” The groom said he couldn't wait. “The king’s enemies are advancing right now, and we must meet them on the field. Make do with what you have.”

As ordered, the blacksmith molded four horseshoes from one bar of iron and nailed three of them on the horse. Attempting to fasten the fourth shoe, he realized he didn't have enough nails. “I need one or two more nails, and it will take some time to hammer these out,” he told the groom.

The groom wouldn't wait. “I hear the trumpets now! Can’t you just use what you've got?” The blacksmith said he couldn't guarantee the fourth horseshoe would hold. “Just nail it on,” the groom ordered. “Hurry, or King Richard will be angry with us both.”

On the battlefield Richard rode up and down the field, fighting and urging his men to “Press forward! Press forward!” As Richard looked across the field he saw some of his men falling back and fearing his other soldiers might also retreat, he galloped toward the broken line to spur them on. But before Richard could reach them, his horse stumbled and fell, throwing the king to the ground. One of the horse’s shoes, just as the blacksmith feared, had flown off during the king’s desperate gallop. Richard jumped from the ground as his horse rose and galloped off. As Henry’s army advanced, Richard waved his sword high in the air, shouting, “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!”

But it was too late: by then, Richard’s men were fleeing in fear of Henry’s advancing army, and the battle was lost. Since that time people have uttered the proverb:

For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

Elder Gavarett teaches: "Each of us can take a look inside and find what we may lack - which principle or practice we need to fasten more firmly in our lives and in our families. Then, after we identify that principle or practice, we can act with diligence and determination to tighten the nail - to live that principle more fully and to better prepare ourselves and our families to stand up for what’s right." ~"Prepared against the Day of Battle"

13 things...

to bring into the New Year from 2013:

1. Move every day. This needs no conversation. At. All. Just. Do. It. And My Fitness Pal.

2. Good cooking. Near the end of last year I got hold of two cookbooks by Cook's Illustrated: "The Science of Good Cooking" and "The Baking Book." I've been reading these if you can believe it. They're like textbook thick and I've been holding one or the other on my lap in bed at night studying from it. Just today I made classic mashed potatoes from the first, today boiling the potatoes in their skins in the pot, not peeling them. Starting them cooking from cold water. Why? Better flavor and a few other good-for-you things Cook's Illustrated purports. I added melted butter and warm half and half to the mashed potatoes in the pot at the end IN THE ORDER YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO, right? For keeping them from getting gluey. I have my eye on the banana cream pie recipe in the second book to make this week, and classic fudgey brownies. These books have crossed into the new year with me, one in each hand.

3. Getting this right.


4. "Be happy and help others." A commitment I decided on as I listened to our last R.S. lesson in December. No resolutions or revolutions for 2014 so much as a willingness to stay happy - and help.

5. Red Butte Garden member pass. This gets renewed every year... we can't stay away!

6. Same old cell phone, new iPad Air. Yeah, the phone's still doing the trick. I tell folks I'm a Conestoga wagon pulled by oxen (ha!) on the road of technology - a way slow goer. Don'tch'a know a Smart phone is for smart folks, and I'm simple still. I was gifted a new-model iPad, and it's awesome! I can now FaceTime - there's a web cam; take pictures if I want - ah! a camera; and on the Air's current iOS the Internet doesn't crash and burn! ('Course, only something fast and high tech can crash-n-burn. Not, ahem, a covered wagon for sure.)

7. Philip Gulley, Jan Karon, Alexander McCall-Smith. My faves! I'm most of the way through "Home to Harmony" this first month of the year, first in the Harmony series by Gulley. It's my third time through (like I've done with Jan Karon's Mitford series). And Alexander McCall-Smith never fails to please. He keeps them coming... like the others, simple tales for pleasant reading.

8. Heel and toe callouses from walking and walking and walking; mosquito-bite scars on my ankles still from when Kent and I sat out watching fireworks last summer (I'm shaving my legs smoothly over them now but the scars are there, eh); foggy eye still from my iritis flare before Christmas. Aw, same old Birkenstocks and Sunday flats; but guess what this year...! Skinny jeans!

9. Lewy Body dementia and Alzheimer's illness. Crossing from last year into this like crossing a finish line has come my little mother still fighting the good fight with her illnesses. Not behind - in fact bearing her up steadily - is dad. Here are two champions! Dad is heard to say regularly, "we do our best every day." I agree with him as the days and weeks've gone by, and now a year since they moved in with us... way more, even, since mom was diagnosed: That's all we can do. I say my parents are champions as they do set the standard high for doing this together - their very best. We're of course blessed with mega-support from professional care givers and family and friends, and the grace of God.

10. Faith. There's not been a year I've felt I've needed or understood the strength that comes from faith in Jesus Christ like last year... and now this... and the years ahead as our children grow (and theirs) and our parents age and will exit this life. With four parents, five children and spouses, twelve grandchildren, one on the way in May, and each other to love and care for and sustain, mine and Kent's lives feel full. Overflowing often - though as much with blessings and we acknowledge these! as with difficulties. Life is much harder than I imagined even five years ago it would be; is. Our confidence in each other; our love of life; choosing well; and our faith in Jesus Christ is keeping us balanced and strong.

11. Darling grand kids! Pics from 2013:



12. "I love you more." Here's a great phrase! I say it to Kent after he says I love you, kind of baiting him... but he gets me back by saying I love you most!" Ha!

13. GRATITUDE. An exercise that, like moving every day, doesn't need to be touted or hailed for its excellent results. Just. Do. It. Every. Day.

Sunday post

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself.



It’s thinking of yourself less."

He he!

>

Nothin'

I've not taken a camera picture one the whole month. This year! Nothin's too much catching my eye in that way that I have to have a snapshot. Laura and me exercising for instance, like a couple of Januarys ago at the fitness center. Naw. Gorgeous icicles clinging to our gutters the week after Christmas and through the New Year... nope... grew tenuous and vanished in temps that've soared to the mid thirties. Our smog - pea soup - below us is, mm, not so pretty. 'Tis murky. Haven't seen the grand kids for a while, and even then fleetingly. Last visit, just after the New Year, I was interested in coddling them more than in snapping pics. What was I thinking? Where was my camera? Though I did take their pictures in November before the last leaf fell, a series of family pictures actually...



...that make me smile! But hasn't that been...



... like three months ago? Already?



Time flies...



(and now a new baby coming, a boy, in May...)  Yes, these are always eye-catching subjects for my camera - I have to have a snapshot - when we're near unless I'm busy throwing the boys up on my feet like a circus act or chasing Ellie-belle, which is always often. Then they go, or I do, they're gone, and I've lost the chance.

What am I thinking?

I hope the whole month doesn't get away from me. Can you stand more pics here of, say, snow in the Costco parking lot?

For He is good

Each day can bring more joy than sorrow when our mortal and spiritual eyes are open to God's goodness. Joy in the gospel is not something that begins only in the next life. It is our privilege now, this very day. We must never allow our burdens to obscure our blessings. There will always be more blessings than burdens--even if some days it doesn't seem so. Jesus said, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." Enjoy those blessings right now. They are yours and always will be.” ― Jeffrey R. Holland

If you're frank

Shana and I were talking the other day about family. Sometimes when you get frustrated you wanna just say what's SO to their face. "When I get frustrated I get frank," Shana said. No duh, right? Wish I could when it's appropriate - or swing wear a sign like the one below around my neck.

Subject change... but not really: Philip Gulley writes of fictional Harmony, Indiana, where Quaker pastor Sam Gardner is in his first year back in his hometown ("Home to Harmony" (link)); Dale Hinshaw is a pain-in-the-behind member of the Harmony Friends congregation; Fern Hampton, Bea and Opal Majors, Miriam and Ellis Hodge, Asa Peacock are all quirky churchgoers too. There's Harvey Muldock, Bob Miles, Jr. and then Frank, the 70 year-old widower who page 75 becomes the pastor's new church secretary.

"It has been said that patience comes with age," narrates Sam. "Whoever said that never met Frank. He does not entertain fools gladly. When Fern Hampton called to complain about our worship service, Frank listened for one minute, then hung up the phone."

"Complaining about the service was a weekly ritual for Fern, a deep joy, almost a sacrament." There's a longish narration describing Fern's scolding, ending with "Sam used to listen to the entire harangue" mm, that's me "though after a while he learned to set the phone down, do his paperwork, then pick up the phone ten minutes later as she was winding down."

"Then one Monday I wasn't at the church office, and Frank answered the phone. He listened to Fern for one minute, then hung up the phone, and she hasn't called back since. It's like Frank told me, 'Once you've been to war, you learn what's important. A good war would do wonders for Fern.'"

"Frank has a sign over his desk that reads: →→→→→→→→→


That's how I can feel about folks some days. Though I'm not frank enough to say it out loud. To your face or anybody's. Hence, here's the saying posted twice on this blog... once in the post titled "Harmony" at the link up top and today afresh. Um, I do like "frank," but that I'm not, so I post and run, he he! Now Frank... Sam says, "People call and ask me to visit someone in the hospital. Frank asks them, 'Why can't you go? Are your legs broken? Why do you want Pastor Sam to do your Christian work for you?'"

"Dale Hinshaw was the worst offender. Fearing I might have a spare moment, he would phone me daily with suggestions of things I could do. Frank put up with this for one week, then said, 'Dale, if you spent as much time doing the work of the Lord as you do fishing, we'd all be better off.'"

If you're frank maybe people won't like you. I prefer friendly. But with a pain-in-the-neck and that's not you, you're a dear! I'm learning (thank you Shana, thank you Sam) to be Frank.

The best way

Sister Patricia Holland states that if we instead of seeing life through the lens of getting would practice changing our focus to unrestricted giving, we would "forget about fear and conflict and begin to know real and lasting peace."

I'm looking closely at what and how I'm giving this year... a good thing to give, maybe the best but also the hardest - is my time. Sure, I may begrudge giving up my time. I've responded that way... but it's true when I give my precious minutes to others I not only may lift them, but me. Like a boomerang, what I give away comes back to me. So I may count on having all I need, being fulfilled. Really, serving ourselves is limiting where serving others feels empowering!

The biggest gift

7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others

Longish post. I've read this again and again and wanna live these "stops." Yes. Written by Marc Chernoff. (link)

The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others. Tempering your expectations of other people will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration and suffering, in both your life and theirs, and help you refocus on the things that truly matter.

1.  Stop expecting them to agree with you.

You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need from everyone else.

2.  Stop expecting them to respect you more than you respect yourself.

True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.  It’s about having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon it.  Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself.

Today, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you, and from now on I’m going to act like it.”  It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself.  When you practice self-love and self-respect, you give yourself the opportunity to be happy.  When you are happy, you become a better friend, a better family member, and a better YOU.

3.  Stop expecting (and needing) them to like you.

You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are priceless to another.  Don’t ever forget your worth.  The things that make you different are the things that make YOU, and the right people will love you for it.

4.  Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are.

Loving and respecting others means allowing them to be themselves.  When you stop expecting people to be a certain way, you can begin to appreciate THEM.

Pay close attention, and respect people for who they are and not for who you want them to be.  We don’t know most people half as well as we believe we do; and truly knowing someone is a big part of what makes them wonderful.  Every human being is remarkable and beautiful; it just takes a patient set of eyes to see it.  The more you get to know someone, the more you will be able to look beyond their appearance and see the beauty of who they truly are.

5.  Stop expecting them to know what you’re thinking.

People can’t read minds. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them. In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and effectively. And often, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words. You have to tell people what you’re thinking. It’s as simple as that.

6.  Stop expecting them to suddenly change.

If there’s a specific behavior someone you care about has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t.  If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows how you feel and what you need them to do.

For the most part though, you can’t change people and you shouldn’t try.  Either you accept who they are or you choose to live without them.  It’s might sound harsh, but it’s not.  When you try to change people, they often remain the same, but when you don’t try to change them – when you support them and allow them the freedom to be as they are – they gradually change in the most beautiful way.  Because what really changes is the way you see them.  

7.  Stop expecting them to be “OK.”

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle, just like you. Every smile or sign of strength hides an inner struggle every bit as complex and extraordinary as your own.

Remember that embracing your light doesn't mean ignoring your dark. We are measured by our ability to overcome adversities and insecurities, not avoid them. Supporting, sharing and making contributions to other people is one of life’s greatest rewards. This happens naturally if we allow it, because we all share very similar dreams, needs and struggles. Once we accept this, the world then is a place where we can look someone else in the eye and say, “I’m lost and struggling at the moment,” and they can nod and say, “Me too,” and that’s OK. Because not being “OK” all the time, is perfectly OK.

Afterthoughts

People rarely behave exactly the way you want them to. Hope for the best, but expect less. And remember, the magnitude of your happiness will be directly proportional to your thoughts and how you choose to think about things.

Whatever

I've had a hundred little prompts in the past few days for bloggie thoughts but haven't written a one down. Oh and they were good, right? Don't you love it when you have an important thought! He he. Now they're gone. So here's what I I'm having today before it escapes me.

I love the momentum and possibility that comes with "shift." Shift right now for me means the pitch forward after being stuck.

Me. My habits.
Attitude.
Body.
Spirituality.
Intellect.
Relationships.
Commitments.
Energy.
Creativity.
More...
Right?

It can be a little - a nudge, but perceptible! - or rather a lot. Not like Tarzan the swinging-high-AAAAAAAIIIIIIYAIIIIYAIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAA-then-changing-ropes-mid-tree-top kind of shift, though I do love the Tarzan analogy where swinging out for a new rope you totally hand off the old one. Don't forget to let go, ack! or you'll be painfully s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d as you grab the new rope and that pulls; or stalled, stilled, paralyzed, dangling between-ropes (oooh AND stretched!), 'stead of arcing out in amazing momentum. And possibility.

Not that kind of shift, though I do imagine life like this. On the ropes.

Shift right now for me means a little pitch forward, maybe a step or certain focus up periscope! that I can tell is permanent. Can feel it that way. Momentum and its possibility... with little-to-no chance of going back. "THIS now suddenly or perceptibly, not THAT anymore." I tell my kids all the time we can never know how it feels to BE the change we say we want until we ARE it. ARE! THIS, now, not that.

Anymore.

I say we're stuck with who we are, how we feel and what we do, even if we're

working hard or

praying hard or

loving lots or

trying to understand;

struggling, or giving in

until....

something, some THING, gives.

!!!

And there's a

(mmph)

SHIFT.

Then we're NOT.

Stuck.

Love the momentum and possibility of being THIS now, not that. Whatever it BE!

The Lord Thy God Will Hold Thy Hand

W. CRAIG ZWICK
Of the First Quorum of the Seventy

"The great plan of happiness includes a proverbial roller coaster of challenging times along with the most joyful times. Yes, we all have our moments of difficulty and heartbreak. Occasionally, they are so difficult for us that we just want to give up. There are times when our steps are unsteady, when we feel discouraged and even reach out in desperation. Elder Holland reminds us that the “symbol of the cup that cannot pass is a cup that comes in our life as well as in [the Savior’s]. It is in a much lesser way, to a much lesser degree, but it comes often enough to teach us that we have to obey” (Trusting Jesus [2003], 42)."

"Every one of us needs to know that we can go on in the strength of the Lord. We can put our hand in His, and we will feel His sustaining presence lift us to heights unattainable alone. When a stricken father brought his terribly afflicted son to Jesus, Mark records that “Jesus took him by the hand, and lifted him up; and he arose” (Mark 9:27)."



We must trust in the Lord. If we give ourselves freely to Him, our burdens will be lifted and our hearts will be consoled. Elder Scott has recently counseled: “Trust in God … no matter how challenging the circumstance. … Your peace of mind, your assurance of answers to vexing problems, your ultimate joy depend upon your trust in Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ” (“The Sustaining Power of Faith in Times of Uncertainty and Testing,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2003, 76, 78)."

First love

“First love, then think
First love, then speak
First love, then look
First love, then act
First love, then choose
First love, then give
First love, then live”
Robert Holden

Where they are now

Jen asks why I don't put up stuff about my kids more this year. I dunno... haven't any pictures, not since Christmas, nothing for the new year... slacker! And there's nobody 'round to photograph. Just snow piles, and of that there's only so many years in a row you can be gaga for it, be taking artsy pics of icicles hanging from the gutters or hoarfrost on tree limbs from the upstairs window or up close on ice in my Birkenstocks. Nope. Done. Haven't raised my camera yet this year for a shot.

So here's what the kids're up to from FB when I peek in on Erin's account... and from phone calls recently:

Scott: Hey, you changed your profile on December 17th and I'm only now seeing this? Wait, this can't be you. Really? Isn't this Brad? (Joseph, actually?)

Dan and Amy, um, like me, don't do Facebook. Dan's going to lunch with me this week, we're workin' on it. Amy came over with the kids a couple of days ago. Ellie's saying a dozen words a minute and the boys are off track three weeks I think and doing swimming lessons! Amy finds out today about the baby: boy or girl! Anxious!!!

Dana: Went to church, made it all the way there and back only to get stuck on our drive way! Took 5 tries before we got into the garage. Brad and boys shoveling out there now. Brrr it's cold out there.'

Brad. (After Auburn loses the BCS National Championship football game to Florida State. Grrr.)

"Why SEC Isn't As Great In Football As You Think"

Erin: Uh, nuthin' for Erin on FB. (Where's Christmas pictures of the kids, Er?) Though I know (I called her yesterday) she hosted her 11 year-old's birthday with friends at a bowling alley and totally didn't eat the pizza! Carrots, yogurt and a half sandwich for her. Kudos!

Mike: Dunno.

Jenny: Slowly being snowed in. No school tomorrow. Brownies in the kitchen. Downton Abbey in a few hours. Ahhh. (Jen-Jen, I watched Downton Abbey too. Yesterday. Oh my, so good!)

Robert: Brrr! Stir-crazy in these temps! The new house (he says) still isn't big enough for the four of them this winter! Yikes.

Lessons From The Geese

Synergy is the concept that when we work together the end result is greater than if each of us acts independently.

*As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an "uplift" for the bird following. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% more flying range than if each bird flew alone.

Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

*Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone, and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the "lifting power" of the bird immediately in front.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose, we will join in formations with those who are headed where we want to go!



*When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies at the point position.

Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership – with people, as with geese, interdependent with one other.

*The geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

Lesson: We need to make sure our honking from behind is encouraging - not something less helpful.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." ~1 Thessalonians 5:11 

*When a goose gets sick or wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow their fellow member down to help provide protection. They stay with this member of the flock until he or she is either able to fly again or dies. Then they launch out on their own, with another formation, or catch up with their own flock.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as the geese, we’ll stand by each other like that.
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"Lessons from the Geese" was written in 1972 by Dr. Robert McNeish of Baltimore. Dr. McNeish, for many years a science teacher before he became involved in school administration, had been intrigued with observing geese for years and first wrote the piece for a sermon he delivered in his church.

Everything

Remember I posted about my friend's Angel Mother? (link)

This relates I think.  Still thinkin' about it.

Unbreakable promises

Keep my promises to myself.

I like Matt Townsend's (link) advice to "dig deep" as we make New Year's resolutions revolutions. I guess THAT in itself is a goal I can set and keep: Stick to it! Keep my commitments or keep my mouth shut. Work hard and harder, and love the same. I'm getting stronger.

Note to self

Day three

Here we are, Friday the 3rd of January. REally!? Yup. Yesterday and the day before've been yin though. Mmm, not depressing so much, just pretty darn less (we decided), so Laura and I've tried to share happy thoughts these first days of the new year walking our three and a half or so miles 'neath watered-down-sunshine and a choking inversion layer.

And an almighty struggle we had of it yesterday late in the afternoon! Laura's grandsons sick, she said... baby with RSV, four year-old with croup; Milly mm, the dog hurt and needing surgery; two cars misbehaving, Shana's and Laura's each; Shayla fainting this morning, again; no home schooling for Sam today. Give me a happy thought, Nat, says Laura, trudging.

I sure couldn't. The sun started down, a grand fireball through the inversion - shocked me - and I grew cold to my fingertips. I can't one-up RSV or the hundreds of $$$ needed to repair the dog's ACL; not a little boy's inability to breathe in his bed in the night or Shayla's constant and unpredictable (shucks) fainting spells. Not the cars' crazinesses - Laura's, fixed just before Christmas, a week in the shop and now this week after, acting like gee it never was... not Shana's whose won't hold a charge on this day she needed to get to the doctor with two sick boys - would need to be by night at the clinic having the baby rechecked. Maybe suctioned.

An almighty struggle as the sun flamed out so we cut our walk short deciding to get Laura's car to the dealership before it closed and Laura home. Bailed on happy thoughts heck and swung into the Carl's Jr. drive-through for large diet Dr. Peppers each, and we swigged 'em.

***Edit: Laura said this morning (when I told her about what I queued up here to post today) Shana called her last night to say Justin cooked in his new wok. Ackkk! He seasoned it at Laura's house recently, blackened the thing, nevertheless he filled the house with smoke last night. Great, says Shana to her mother. Two babies with respiratory illnesses and this. I. Am. Done. Let this day be Over.

That was last night. Here's day three of this year which'll be a minute or so longer and lighter already. Less (by just that minute) yin. Less "less." It'll go fast I hope, let's get on with it.

That's a happy thought.

Thinking about it

It's been a lot of college football - Bowl games - the past coupla' days at our house. Kent on the couch in front of the TV. As it should be this week between Christmas and New Year's. And Jen and I have played Farkle lots of nights around here and Chris and Jen (and even Kent, tho mighty interested in ball games) and I played Farkle and The Great Dalmuti til almost midnight on New Year's Eve. We were hammered then and I did go to bed AND TO SLEEP at like two minutes after 12:00 with the sounds of fireworks going in the neighborhood. Chinese for dinner had been great - I ate a bucket load - and the game playing, being together, celebrating the night, all fun... and now we're into the new year and I kind'a want the normalcy that comes with being done. And done.

Yesterday afternoon Jen and I and Karen and Scott and Laura and Shay and Sam went to see Disney's "Saving Mr. Banks." At the real movies! (I never go. I just never go anymore. The "dang public" and high $$$ and the temptation to nosh on movie theater buttered popcorn are all, all too much.) There I was entering the theater now and we filed into the front row. Well, second from front. Right there under the OMNIMAX size screen sat we, craning our necks. Slouching to see the whole movie. How did this happen? I've never watched a move from here at this angle, ridiculous non-distance. My eyes almost crossed.

The movie is grand, go see it! (Sit in the middle, not up close, eh?) (Come early enough to get not only in, but your seat in the spot you want it. Are the movies all assigned seating now? Sheesh.) It tugged at a hundred emotions in me, which is good. Or, well, good for a cry. If you're a girl. I'm thinking about it today.

No, not the I-was-hunched-up-to-see-it part about which I stopped pouting soon into the first half hour... the story line. Excellent acting and stupendous script and camera work and casting. Pretty darn great!

Oh how the years

And oh how the years go by
And oh how the love brings tears to my eyes
All through the changes the soul never dies
We fight, we laugh, we cry
As the years go by...

Amy Grant – Oh, How The Years Go By Lyrics

Idea to put this on my blog, my dearest daughter's (who 's humming the tune as I post). Love you, Jen!